


Undermined Vanity

by orphan_account



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Family, Friendship, Gen, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pride and Prejudice Alternative Universe, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 19:29:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2162358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Young Mr. Gavin Burns, meets Mr. James Ryan Haywood, a wealthy and arrogant man whom Gavin wants nothing to do with him due to his pride. Though, through his actions, Mr. Haywood might prove his prejudice wrong. A Pride and Prejudice AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Netherfield Park

**Author's Note:**

> There are many characters that I cannot list them all without it being cluttered. This fic follows the book version of Pride and Prejudice and not the movie version.

 

> _It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife._

“Well, this is a particular letter,” Mr. Burns announced at the dinner table where his wife, and six sons sat. The oldest of the five, Michael turned to his father in curiousity. He nudged his brother, Gavin in the arm.

“What does it say?” his wife, Mrs. Ashley Burns asked. She told her two youngest sons to quiet down as her husband read the letter. Mr. Burns adjusted his glasses as he scanned through the letter. Mr. Burns was a patient man of two and forty. Married early to Miss Jenkins, who was now Mrs. Burns. They had birthed five sons: Michael, the eldest and the one to inherit the Burns estate. He was favoured by his mother as he was the most handsome. Gavin was the second child, a curious young man. Then came, Kdin, a quiet boy who enjoyed reading and playing the piano more than his siblings. Kerry and Ray were the youngest. Ray, being the youngest, had the most energy and Kerry only encouraged it.

“That we have a new neighbor, moving into the Netherfield estate. A man of wealth and a background to match. He came in a carriage in the past month and he simply loved the place. Ms. Sorola says that he’ll be moved in by Christmas,” he explained.

“What’s his name?”

“Ramsey.”

“Is he married or single?” Mrs. Burns asked.

“He is single, a very rich income of four to five thousand pounds a year. A perhaps suitable candidate to our boys.”

“God, ew,” Michael announced. Gavin chuckled as he sipped at his wine.

“To marry a man who gets as much money as he does, it would be wonderful for either of them,” Mrs. Burns grinned, excited for what was to come. “Are you going to go see him, dear?”

“I guess I have to, welcome him into the neighbourhood, put in a good word for Gavin or Michael,” Mr Burns as he adjusted himself in his seat. He folded the letter and put it into the pocket of his coat.

While Mr. Burns had called the carriage, the boys settled into their hobbies. Kdin had went up to his room to read a new novel since the last time he had been in town. Michael and Gavin had settled to converse over a cup of tea before going onto the field to tend to their horses. Ray and Kerry were off getting into trouble as usual.

Mrs. Burns wanted to talk to her oldest sons, that they should show more excitement for perhaps finding a husband in Mr. Ramsey. Though she knew that Michael certainly would have no word to say other than foul ones, to show his distaste in marrying. Gavin would only comfort his brother into that a man should only for love, not for social standings or wealth.

“I’m seven and twenty, Gavin, I must marry soon. Or else, God knows how much of a burden I am putting on Mom and Dad,” Michael explained as he twisted himself comfortably towards Gavin.

“And I am of six and twenty, we are in the same boat Michael, though, I would want to marry out of love more than because I am older than the other husbands and wives,” Gavin said.

It was evening when Mr. Burns had returned from his visit. Mrs. Burns was excited to hear about him as she brought her sons into the doorway to greet their father.

“Very nice young man, I would say.” he started.

“What does he look like?”

“Tall, dark haired, blue eyes. He stood very tall but was very friendly and I hope to talk to him again soon.” Mr. Burns told his wife. His sons would like to have nothing to do with him.

Five evenings later, there was a knock at the door. Mrs. Burns put aside her needlework to answer the door. “I’m coming, I’m coming,” she yelled as she held up her dress to answer the door. She looked up to see a well-dressed man of his mid-thirties.

“You must be Mr. Ramsey, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” she smiled and curtsied. Mr. Burns was not far behind his wife. “Would you like to come in for a cup of tea? Perhaps dinner?”

“Ah, Mr. Ramsey, welcome to the household, and with my wife I invite you in as well,” Mr. Burns greeted.

“I would love to Mr and Mrs Burns, but, I have been called away to London at this very moment for business. If you don’t mind, I would love to invite you and your sons to a ball in nearby Meryton. It would be a great way to become acquainted with them all,” he said.

“Gladly!” Mrs. Burns replied with a grin on her face.  

“I must part now, I cannot be late, see you this Saturday,” he tipped his top hat and went back to his carriage. Mrs. Burns waved to him goodbye.

 

***

“Ball?!” Kerry exclaimed as he heard his mother announce the news. All her boys looked at her as if she had gone insane.

“Yes. Mr. Ramsey had invited us all to a ball at Meryton. It’s going to be great, we’re going to dance, talk, eat sweets, and just have a good time. Now, I want all of you five to attend. No buts, or ifs. It’s going to get you all out of the house,” she explained. Her sons groaned at the thought.

“It’s going to be fun, Mr. Ramsey is going to be there,” Gavin said to Michael. They were seated on the steps outside. Kdin was practicing the piano inside and after a few unholy wrong notes, they quietly snuck out to take in the fresh air.

“I haven’t even met the guy yet, how do you know I won’t like him?” Michael asked. He ran a hand through his thick curly hair. He looked very much like his father but stubborn and had a worse temper.

“Well, give him a try. It won’t hurt. Father said he was extremely kind and laid back. Maybe you two will get along,” Gavin encouraged.

The night of the ball, the five sons all looked dapper in their similar yet, unique attire. The oldest two, wore white gloves with their top hats, Kdin looked uncomfortable in his suit and Ray and Kerry wore bright coloured bow ties for the occasion. There were many people of whom they did not know, except a selected few that they were introduced to many years ago.

“Hello Mrs. Burns, these must be your wonderful sons,” Mr. Ramsey said as they entered the main hall. He was accompanied by a man. Tall, serious, had light brown eyes and piercing blue eyes. “This is my good friend. Mr. Haywood.” Gavin looked up at him and he felt a knot forming in his stomach over his presence.

“Good evening,” he saluted and was soon off in the crowd. Mr. Ramsey turned to see him gone.

“I’m sorry for his behavior, I’m sure he’s a kind man,” Mr. Ramsey apologized. “My sister is here as well. Somewhere in the crowd. She loves balls.”

“Good evening, Mr. Ramsey,” Mrs Burns and one by one her sons bowed to his presence.

“This one here is my oldest, Michael, then there’s Gavin, second oldest, Kdin, Kerry and Ray, “ she introduced one by one.

Gavin had acquainted with Miss Ramsey, and despite Michael not particularly liking her character, Gavin was quite fond of her informal nature. Her hair wasn’t up in a bun or any kind of fancy braid that the other girls wore. Her blonde hair bounced around her shoulders as she spoke of the galleries in Paris that her brother had allowed her to visit.

“Miss Ramsey,” Gavin started.

“Please, call me Griffon, there is no need to be formal with me. Leave the formalities with the other young women, I am here to make friends and have fun,” she smiled. It was welcoming to Gavin, to have someone who was as laid back as she was. She was in her late twenties, and in no rush to marry. “If I do not marry, I will sail to Paris and become an artist, though, my father and mother have other plans for me.” Gavin listened before she was approached by a woman for a dance and she happily agreed.

Gavin heard many speak of Mr. Haywood. They favoured him over Mr. Ramsey in looks and personality. He had heard that Mr. Haywood only danced with the daughters of wealthy homes.

Mr. Ramsey was one to make acquaintance with everyone in the room. His laugh was contagious and could make a bunch of people laugh loudly along with him. He danced with the girls and the men, it didn’t matter. Michael had been sitting next to Gavin when Mr. Ramsey had walked up to him.

“May I have this dance Mr Burns?” he asked as he held out his hand. Gavin was in awe as Michael’s face was red as he took his hand and let him take him to the dancefloor for the next dance. Gavin smiled so hard his cheeks hurt at the scene. Michael had never danced with anyone other than his mother growing up and Gavin saw him look down at his feet some times but Mr. Ramsey could only smile as he danced gracefully with him. After the dance, Michael had asked a shy girl to dance with him, confident now that he thought his dancing skills weren’t as horrible as he thought.

Gavin’s seat was in listening distance to Mr. Ramsey and Mr. Haywood.

“C’mon Ryan, dance, enjoy the ball. You look like an idiot standing here and doing nothing,” Mr. Ramsey urged him.

“No and I will not dance with your sister. To find a partner here would insupportable of my class,” he said in a deep voice.

“I really don’t get it, there’s a lot of handsome women and young men here. I wish I had time to dance or talk with all of them,” Mr. Ramsey tried to persuade him.

“You are dancing with the more handsome man in the room right now.”

“He really is a handsome man,” he smiled as he looked at Michael bow to a young girl, before putting his tophat back on and starting another dance. “What about his brother though? He is quite handsome himself, should I introduce you two?”

Gavin turned to what they would say about him and he caught eyes with Mr. Haywood.

“He is tolerable, but not enough to tempt me.” he said as he pulled away. “Now, stop hanging around me and go dance with your partner before he is taken for the rest of the night. “

Mr. Ramsey took his advice and went back to the dancefloor to ask Michael for another dance. Michael gladly accepted it. Gavin couldn’t bear to be in the presence of Mr. Haywood any longer and disappeared into the crowd to find familiar faces to talk to about what he just heard.

The ball was coming to an end and Ray and Kerry were tired from all the dancing and Michael was all well, though, his face was flushed about someone more than the activity. Gavin was torn and he couldn’t wait to go home. Kdin had been complimented on his piano skills more than once.  Mrs Burns couldn’t wait to tell her husband about the ball, and once she entered the door he was there to welcome her home. Mr. Burns left kisses on her cheeks.

“Tell me all about it,” he told her with a smile.

Everyone had changed into the sleepwear and called it a night. Kdin, Kerry and Ray were fast asleep while Michael and Gavin were wide awake by candlelight.

“He’s wonderful, Gavin,” he started. Gavin’s heart swelled for him. “His kind, comedic, lively. He’s laid-back, interested to debate and conversation.”

“He’s also pretty good-looking, with that mustache,” Gavin giggled. Michael laughed with him.

“I can’t believe he asked for a second dance,” Michael blushed as he brought his pillow up to his face. Gavin was sincerely happy for his older brother. Gavin spoke about his meeting with Mr. Ramsey’s sister and how she seemed so informal compared to her brother. They could’ve gone on for hours about what they learned at the ball, but Michael’s eyes begged to sleep, wanting to dream of the man that was now embedded into his mind. Gavin fell asleep soon after.

The morning was chilly as Gavin brought his coat closer to his body as he stepped through the damp grass. He was making his trip to the Pattillo Lodge, where resided his best friend, Jack. He had been at the ball last night but it had been quite the hassle to talk to him. He was being dragged back and forth through families and Gavin had been at a lost to get to him.

“Mr. Ramsey did ask you to dance first last night,” Gavin told him. He sat at the small table in Jac’s kitchen while Jack prepared some morning tea. Gavin yawned as he was still exhausted from the fortnight.

Jack had been Gavin’s friend for as long as he could remember. He could easily depend on him for any problem for he had the largest heart of gold he knew.

“Yeah, but it didn’t mean anything, Michael was his second choice, and his better choice,” he replied to the statement as he set down the teapot. “Heard that Mr. Haywood only found you, tolerable.”

“Don’t mention it, everyone in town knows. It annoys me more than it should,” Gavin said in mortification. “He has a pride that seeps under my skin.”

“He’s not worth the frustration at all, Gavin,” he told him as he sipped at his cup of tea. Gavin brought the warm liquid to his lips as his shoulders relaxed. The tea was very much inviting for the temperature.

“It could be possible that Michael is falling in love with Mr. Ramsey,” Gavin admitted.

“I don’t blame him.”

Gavin hated to leave early from the Lodge but it was known that he was expecting guests that evening. He forgot it was the Ramseys. Both Mr. Ramsey and Miss Ramsey were present.

Mr. Ramsey was ever so close to Michael throughout the conversations while Gavin conversed very well with Griffon. Gavin made it so he could glance a look to his brother while he spoke to Griffon. It was obvious the way that Michael looked at the older man that his heart was beating at a quick rate in his chest. Though, while he knew that his heart was opening to him, Michael’s wall was up and it seemed like casual conversation to anyone else in the room. As how much he wanted to listen to Griffon to its entirety, his mind was elsewhere and he could only catch minimal conversation.

While Gavin’s mind was on his brother, he had become the thought of someone else’s desires. Mr. Haywood’s heart wasn’t as cold as he judged it be. He didn’t show any admiration at their first meeting, but he was appearing everywhere he went and he could no longer find fault in his face. He could only find playfulness in his blue eyes. He couldn’t disagree at first that his nose was bothersome in size but he found it a perfect part of his character.

Gavin was not aware of this admiration as he believed that Mr. Haywood was merely a man that he couldn’t like and he brought his bitterness and hierarchy wherever he went.

It was a large party hosted by Lady Pattillo and her husband, had Gavin noticed Mr. Haywood much more. She had been speaking to a guest when Mr. Haywood began to converse to them both. It was an awkward experience for Gavin but he remained polite in engaged in the discussion.

“Jack, would you know what’s going on with Mr. Haywood?” Gavin asked as he was able to slip away from the conversation.

“I have no idea, sorry,” Jack replied.

“I was teasing the Colonel about having a ball, and he really liked the idea. Is he ill? What is his plan? His look hasn’t changed.”

Kdin was the quietest of all the children, yet, made himself heard by the way he gracefully touched the keys on the piano. Many of the young girls in the room were happy to dance to the song.

Colonel Hullum was in conversation with Mr. Haywood. Colonel Hullum was a joyous personnel to the party and made Mr. Haywood talk. At the corner of Mr. Haywood’s eye, could he see Gavin come closer as he spoke to Jack.

“Mr. Gavin, I am surprised to see a young gentleman like you not dancing with the others,” Colonel Hullum pointed out. Gavin looked up at Mr. Haywood, and Mr. Haywood looked right back, looking very much taller at the moment. “Mr. Haywood, why don’t you take this wonderful young man in a dance? He is a very desirable partner, a very good dancer.”

Gavin stepped back at the invitation. “I-I have no intention for dancing at the moment, please, don’t take my stride as if I was looking.”

Mr. Haywood held out his hand, hoping to get Gavin to dance at least once that evening but he was blatantly refused.

“It was make me very happy to see you dance Gavin especially with Mr. Haywood as he is usually so unwilling to dance. Oblige him the half an hour.”

Gavin smiled. “Very polite of Mr. Haywood.” He bowed and turned on his heals. He saw Griffon in the distance and he made his way to her, hoping to get out of the scene he created.

“Nice revelry there.” She told him as she looped her hand through his arm.

“It’s more than you think.”

“I do not oppose to your actions, but you can’t continue this way when you’re among men and women of society. Despite him being a total arse in all honesty.” They walked through the crowd, bowing to friends and acquaintances as they passed.

“Trust me, my actions are well calculated.” As they walked, Mr. Haywood was in his view again and Gavin just wanted to run but he stood his ground and hooked on tighter to Griffon’s arm.

“Mister Gavin Burns.” he said looking into Gavin’s eyes as if he was looking for him for a while.

“Yes, this is Mister Gavin Burns, and may I ask when did he become a favourite of yours? When will I get to have some fun with you?” she cooed. She was like a cat, purring in his presence.

“Well, don’t get anything in mind, Miss Ramsey.”

“I assure you, I have nothing in mind.”

***

Mr. Burns’ income was merely two thousand a year, and his wife’s income was even less. Though, it did not make him any less happier to have Mrs. Burns by his side. Her sister had married a clerk and they were now settled in the small town of Meryton where Ray and Kerry would wander off to during the day. There they would talk to the military officials and perhaps make a friend or two in return.

Michael had received a letter that day from Miss Ramsey. An invitation to dine with her

“Dad, can I have the carriage?”

“You’re better off going by horseback, it’s going to rain, and it’s not worth the trip back.” Mr. Burns explained.

“It’ll be better to stay the night,” Mrs. Burns continued.

Michael gathered his horse, looking up at the dark clouds in the distance and hoped for it to not rain by the time he got there.

Though, while Mrs. Burns believed he had got there in time. A letter from Netherfield was delivered in the pouring rain the next morning.

_Dear Gavin,_

_I am feeling as sick as a dog this morning. I had got caught in the rain yesterday evening on my way there. I will not be home until I am well. Do not worry for it’s just a sore throat and a headache. I should be well soon, I am surrounded by good people. Miss Ramsey had not stopped caring for me all morning._

_Michae_ l

“I have to go to Netherfield,” Gavin announced when he was done reading the letter out loud.

“Michael has the horse though.” Ray chimed in. Gavin sighed.

“I’ll walk. It’s only three miles, I’ll be back by dinner time.”

The ground was still muddy and wet from the night before, though it didn’t stop him from walking through fields in the mud and jumping over fences. His only motivation was to see his brother and see if he was well. He did not care for anyone else at Netherfield but Michael. The exercise made his heart and lungs work as his boots constantly got stuck in deep puddles.

He had arrived at Netherfield with a flushed face and his hair damp from the humidity. Miss Ramsey looked at him in awe.

“Good morning, Miss Ramsey and Mrs. Sorola. I’ve came to see my brother.” He approached. He bowed as best as he could.

“Good morning,” Griffon greeted. Mrs. Sorola was also very welcoming. He went through the halls and was greeted by Mr. Ramsey, whom was concerned that he had walked all the way.

“You could’ve sent a letter and I would’ve sent a carriage,” he said worriedly.

“It’s really fine. A little walk doesn’t hurt,” he smiled. He quickly passed Mr. Haywood whom barely said a word to him.

“Michael,” he said as he walked into the room. Michael was in spare nightclothes. His nose was red and he looked feverish. “Talk to me.”

“I got a bad cold, that’s all. A little fever,” Michael comforted. Gavin did not leave his side. Griffon had come in after breakfast to stay with them. She sat on the edge of the bed beside Michael and stroked his head to ease the pain of his headache. She promised that a doctor would be arriving soon.

“Thank you, Griffon.”

When the clock struck three, Gavin had to leave his brother but he promised to return the next day. Though, it wasn’t a pleasant visit as the talk was all on Michael and himself, in a dark light. He overheard talk of him being a wild boy with no discipline to walk in the mud from his home. He couldn’t wait to leave but his priority was on Michael’s wellness. Griffon was one to avoid all the talk and Mr. Ramsey was always close by to check on Michael.

“I found it really beautiful of you to come all the way to Netherfield to see your brother,” he told him while they crossed in the hall. Gavin was on his way to find cold water to cool the rag that was on Michael’s feverish forehead. He wasn’t wearing his coat and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. He was being snickered by two women who knew of his situation.

“Thank you Mr. Ramsey, anything for my brother,” he grinned, happy to hear a compliment among the insults.

In another room, there was talk between Mr and Miss Ramsey, Mr. Haywood and Mrs. Sorola.

“I can’t believe that boy to be nothing but a brat at this point,” Mrs. Sorola announced. “Both of you saw him yesterday, and he’s not any better today. Doing the maids’ work for his brother. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t let your sister walk three miles in mud, Mr. Haywood.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” Mr. Haywood answered.

“It proves Gavin’s love for his brother, it’s really charming.” Mr. Ramsey chimed in.

“I’m sure that his adventure had tainted your view of him, Mr. Haywood?” Mrs. Sorola said as she looked at him. He kept a straight face.

“Not at all, Mrs. Sorola,” he started. “His eyes were only better when complemented by the red on his cheeks.

Gavin had left Michael’s side when he was asleep. He did not bother with his jacket and found the party in the drawing room. He suddenly wished to go back and get it. It was too late, they had spotted him.

“No, Gavin, please, join us.” Mrs. Sorola called him over. He gulped as he entered the room. They were playing a game of cards, and without a penny on him, he refused to play and rather relax with a good book.

Mr. Sorola was present in the room. “Do you prefer books to cards. Mr. Burns?”

“Mr. Gavin Burns, loves to read. A game of cards would be boring to him.” Griffon said as she folded her hand.

“Please, do not praise me or put words in my mouth. I enjoy reading, but I am not excellent at it. I find pleasure in many different hobbies than just literature,” he affirmed.

Mr. Ramsey was first to step in to his defence. “Nursing your brother lately, I am sure you find pleasure in many things and you will get back to those pleasures once he is in full health again.”

Gavin smiled at him and thanked him. He put his attention back on his book.

“Would you like me to get you more books Gavin? I’m sure there are more”

“No, it’s fine. I’m fine with this.”

They spoke of things Gavin surely couldn’t follow. They spoke of the estate and Mr. Haywood buying it at a later date. Their talking left him needing to push his book aside and he made his way to sit next to Mr. Ramsey to watch the game instead. They spoke of finding a woman or  men that were well accomplished in many arts.

“A partner is to be greatly accomplished, but it only should be improved with extensive reading.” Mr. Haywood replied.

It had begun to annoy Gavin. As a man who wasn’t well accomplished, it was directed at him to feel small.

“For you to know so many accomplished people, I am surprised you know any at all.” Gavin said to Mr. Haywood.

“Why are you severe on people? To doubt someone to be as accomplished as I spoke about?” Mr. Haywood tested.

“I personally never met someone like that. I never met someone of that much extensive knowledge and talent as you described.”

In fury, Gavin left the room to return to Michael. His hands were cold as ice and his forehead dripped of sweat. Gavin sighed as he made a quick return to the drawing room to announce that he wasn’t doing any better and he would have to stay. Ramsey was quick to say that the doctor would come immediately. Mrs. Sorola had replied that it was no rush and it should wait for the morning. After dinner, Ramsey had spoken to all the maids in the room that all their attention should be on his ill guest and his brother.

 


	2. Sketching the Character

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin tries to learn about Mr. Haywood's character.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue heavy, and a lot of references.

The maids attended to every need, though Gavin had offered to help on many occasions. Ramsey had been pacing the halls, worried about the state of his guest. He would knock on the door of the room many times during the day to assess Michael’s health. It did not get any better since the morning and Gavin thought it would be best to write a letter to Longbourn, to his mother especially, that she should come visit her son. Perhaps it would lift his spirits to have the cheerfulness of his mother in the room. Michael hadn’t smiled in a very long time.

It was offered by Mrs. Sorola that he should be carried home to be in the safety of his parents instead of staying at Netherfield. Ramsey was appalled by the suggestion and that Michael was no where healthy enough to go home in a carriage with such a temperature.

Ramsey had to leave soon to attend business and it pained him to leave Michael and Gavin alone with his judgemental fellows.

“No, Ramsey, do not worry about us. I’ll be able to handle them,” he replied.

“Gavin, remember where you are,” Mrs. Burns warned him.

Ramsey, upon hearing this, looked at Gavin. He looked up at him apologetically. “No, you have a great character Gavin.”

Haywood was in the room, sitting in a chair. He couldn’t keep his eyes off Gavin. The man looked tired from many sleepless nights of taking care of his brother. His white shirt was still rolled up at the sleeves but the top buttons were open, revealing some chest hair. He looked like a farmer's son but it only made him more appealing to talk against society.

Ray and Kerry had tagged along, and while Michael was awake, they took turns trying to ease his pain. It gave Gavin time to sit and talk with the rest. They spoke about Jack Pattillo, and his long passing of a coming of age. Gavin defended his plain handsomeness to say they he was a very lovable and supporting character.

It was time for Mrs. Burns and her sons to leave Michael and Gavin. Mrs. Burns placed kisses on Michael’s forehead before leaving.

Once Michael was asleep again, Gavin fixed his sleeves and pulled on his coat before going into the drawing room. Mr. Haywood was writing while Mrs. Sorola and Mr. Ramsey played a game of cards. Griffon watched. Gavin picked up a book from the pile again and began to read,

Mrs. Sorola brought up the topic of Mr. Haywood’s writing. He was writing a letter to his sister, Lindsay.

“Geoff doesn’t write as nearly as good as you. It’s scribbles.” Mrs. Sorola said.

“I write very quickly as well. My ideas flow to fast and I make a mess of my letters,” Haywood admitted.

“You are very much too harsh on Mr. Ramsey,” Gavin said as he looked up from his books. Suddenly all the eyes of the room was on him.

“A little opinion doesn’t hurt,” Mr. Haywood said. Minimal words into an argument between the two. Gavin spoke of Haywood almost using Ramsey. It was clear that Haywood would defend himself.

“You’re putting words into my mouth, Mr. Burns,” Haywood said bitterly. The book was closed on his lap. Mr. Ramsey looked at the two in fear and he appreciated if they stopped bickering.

“Very well, we shall let Mr. Haywood finish his letter,” Gavin said and the argument was over. Mr. Haywood did finish his letter.

Griffon sat down at the piano and began to play a lively classical piece that made Gavin look up from his book once again. He wasn’t surprised to hear her play, as her instrument collided with her informality. He walked up to the piano forte and picked up a music book to look over. While he read, he could feel Mr. Haywood’s eyes fixed on him. He wasn’t aware that his eyes looked in admiration and yet he believed he look at him because his air had become more unpleasant. His ideals of morality clashed with his expectations, and yet, Gavin did little to care about it.

He watched Griffon play a soft Italian tune, but she had seen Mr. Haywood stand up from his writing desk and changed the tune to something more lively.

“Mister Gavin, would you like to dance?” he asked. Gavin was taken aback and did not know what to say. He bit his lip as Haywood repeated himself, afraid that Gavin didn’t hear him over the music.

“I heard you and I know that you would think I would say yes, but you are wrong. I love to destroy your hopes, and ideas but, hate me if you dare, but I shall not dance with you,” he replied. Mr. Haywood straightened his back and pulled away his hand, shocked by his decline. He felt bewitched by him, all of him, and if it wasn’t for his inferiority of birth, he would be in danger.

“What a beautiful man, isn’t he Ryan?” Griffon smiled as they walked in the courtyard. “I heard you would want to have a portrait done of him. Hopefully you can get him to sit still long enough to capture the bright blue of his eyes.”

“It will be a challenge, but I’m sure the painter will be skilled enough to catch every detail of his face.”

Gavin was doomed to walk with Mrs. Sorola, when he saw Griffon and Haywood not too far and he wished they would cross. That they did much to his relief to see the kind face of Miss Ramsey.

“This path is too small for us four, may we change path?”

“There is no need, I must be on my way to look after my brother, good-bye!” he laughed before he unlocked his arm with Mrs. Sorola and made his way up to the room. He thought how he couldn’t wait to be home in a few days.

“How are you feeling?” he asked as he entered the room. Michael was sitting up in his bed. While he sniffled and prefered his thicker coat, the colour had returned to his cheeks.

“Better. I can manage on my own pretty well now. My nose is stuffed but all should be cleared up in a few days,” he answered as he closed his book.

After dinner, Michael thought it would do him good to converse with the other people. He sat into the drawing room and the liveliness of the conversation with Griffon brought him joy. Ramsey had approached him with happiness and some worry, as the sniffling wasn’t gone yet and the slight shivers still remained. He made it his duty to start the fireplace on the other side of the room to keep him warm from the chills close to the door. He sat by him the entire time and rarely spoke to anyone else.

Gavin was quietly in a corner, enjoying the book he had started earlier. Soon, Mr. Haywood had joined him in reading. Griffon could not keep still to read and joined in the conversation with Ramsey and Michael.

“Heard you’re planning a ball, Geoff,” she teased. Michael’s eyes widened.

“Heard you can’t keep your ears to yourself, Griffon, but yes, I think it would be great to host a ball in the upcoming weeks.”

“Despite the one who doesn’t like to dance over there in the corner?”

“He can either get a good night’s rest, or join us. I cannot force him to participate.”

“Gavin, walk with me,” Mrs. Sorola asked. Gavin looked up and soon he was linked arms with her. “I’m sure you’re tired from sitting for so long. Would you join us Mr. Haywood?”

“No? I’m fine, really. I find no pleasure in walking in circles.” he replied.

Mrs. Sorola looked at Gavin as they walked. “Do you understand Mr. Haywood?”

“Not one bit, I do not understand him. I believe he just means to be mean to the rest of us, and then he gets angry when we point it out.”

“I would not get angry if I am asked to explain my actions. Mr. Burns. I said no because if you two are discussing private matters, I would be in the way. If you think you need the walk for your figures, then I can admire you both from where I am sitting.” Mr. Haywood spoke. Gavin kept his chin up.

“You are not a very fun person, I think.”

“My actions are credible, and I only hope to be a wise gentleman. My actions will not be demeaned by someone who believes the first thing in life is a joke.” Mr. Haywood kept his voice steady and calm. Though, it wasn’t his intentions to rile him up as he did.

“I am not a person in which you described. I find honour in the good and the wise. Though I know when to laugh at nonsense and stupidity, unlike yourself.” Gavin argued.

“I do not expose myself in that way, because they are signs of weakness.”

“Such as vanity and pride.”

Mr. Haywood was standing up not and Gavin was frozen in place with a quiet Mrs. Sorola.

“Vanity is a weakness. Pride is a superiority of the mind, and is good under regulations.”

Gavin smiled to himself, finally realizing his true defect. The defect that he was sure about for a while and only needed his words to set them in stone.

“Mr. Haywood was no fault. He is absolutely perfect,” he said with bite and sarcasm.

“No, I’m telling you, I am not a perfect man. I have a small temper, I cannot hide it at all. I do not hold conversation well at all. I do forget people’s nonsense. My temper would perhaps be resentful. My good opinion that I once had, will forever be lost and one cannot reclaim it.

“Being resentful is a massive flaw. But you have chosen your flaw Mr. Haywood!” Gavin cried back.

“I only believe there to be flaws in everyone.”

“Your defect is to find every defect in every person and hate them for it!”

“And yours, Gavin,” he smiled in the end. There was a fire in Gavin’s eyes that could only make him smile. “Is to misunderstand every person.”

“Who wants some music?” Griffon announced. “I’ll play a tune.” She quickly moved to the piano and began to play. Mrs. Sorola unlocked herself from Gavin’s arm and he was left there to bask in the aftermath. Mr. Haywood wanted to quickly leave the room but he was frozen in place. He believed that he payed too much attention to Gavin.

Gavin wrote to his parents to send a carriage for them quickly. He wished to leave the home as soon as possible, but the letter was received that they couldn’t have the carriage until Tuesday. With no other way to leave. he asked Michael if he could borrow Mr. Ramsey’s carriage.

Mr. Ramsey believed that Michael wasn’t well enough to go home, yet, Michael was quick to say that he was strong enough to head home.

Mr. Haywood found peace in Gavin’s departure, for he felt like he had only grown more attached to him in his stay. The argument only brought him the pleasure of hearing an opinionated voice, and his intelligence only increased his desire.

Upon Michael and Gavin’s arrival at home, their father had received a letter in the mail from a cousin he forgot he had. He read out loud that he will be arriving shortly to stay for a week.

“He will be arriving tomorrow at 3 o’clock.” he said.

“What’s his name?” Kerry asked at the table. No one ever heard about this cousin and the way that their father looked at that letter, there were personal reasons why.

“Joel Heyman.”

Mr. Heyman arrived on time. He was a tall man with dark hair and eyes. He was very formal in his greeting. Mr. Burns didn’t speak much at the table but his youngest sons talked his ears off.

“What do you do Mr. Haywood?” Ray asked.

“I have been chosen to serve the parish for the extremely wealthy Lord Brandon Farmahini,” he explained. Mr. Heyman was mostly a quiet man but he used his words to compliment the home and Mrs. Burns sons.

After dinner, the boys went up to do their separate hobbies and Mr. Burns sat down with Mr. Heyman.

“What calls you here?” he asked him.

Mr. Heyman was born in a lesser household, and when he applied to be a clergyman, Lord Brandon had took him in only a few years ago to teach him the rules of society.

Though, it was clear by his age and visit, that he had come to marry one of his sons. Mrs. Burns gulped at the idea.

It seemed that Mr. Heyman was interested in his older sons, and it both made Mrs. Burns happy but worried that she’ll have two sons married.

“Can we go for a walk? I’m tired of being stuck indoors,” Ray asked his parents in the drawing room. They thought it was a good idea and suggested they take a walk to Meryton. Kdin was the only one who didn’t want to go, as he was too absorbed in reading his new books.

Michael, Gavin,, Kerry and Mr. Heyman agreed and decided to talk the walk while the weather was nice. Michael and Gavin walked side by side while Ray and Kerry were engrossed with each other. Mr. Heyman was just glad to walk behind them.

Upon arriving at Meryton, Ray and Kerry saw a friend who just arrived from London with an acquaintance. His name was Daniel Gruchy, and he had just joined the military. He was charming, and kind. Ray had taken particular taste in him.

“Oh, God,” Gavin announced as he saw Mr. Haywood and Mr. Ramsey come up the road on horseback. Michael laughed at his brother’s misfortune. “I can’t get a break.”

“Mr. Ramsey’s with him,” Michael noticed. Gavin knew that he wouldn’t really care for Mr. Haywood unless Mr. Ramsey was with him.

“Hello, I was just making my way to Longbourn to talk to you Michael,” he smiled and the both of them were in tight conversation.

Gavin bowed to Mr. Haywood in politeness while he was thinking about if he should look at him at all. He looked up to meet the eyes of Mr. Gruchy. They both looked extremely unsettled and nearly bowed their top hats to each other. Gavin was confused.

Both men decided to walk back home with them. Gavin had struck up conversation with Mr. Gruchy.

“So, you and Mr. Haywood know each other?” he asked.

“We grew up together. Well, his father had taken me in when I was merely a child, and well, when I was of age, he stopped supporting me. We aren’t on good terms now, so, if he wished to leave when we are together, so be it. I am not going to converse with that man based on free will at all.” He explained. Gavin was in shock. “There was a room available for me to live with him, but, sadly he gave it to someone else. I guess when I was there, I might had messed up my opinion of him, but’s no doubt now that Mr. Haywood dislikes me. “

“He should be called out on!” Gavin exclaimed.

“No, not with the love I received by his father. Perhaps he is jealous of the love he didn’t recieve. He has a temper as well, but as much as he tried to control it. It would come out.”

“That sounds awful, I didn’t like him from the beginning but this just strengthens my dislike,” Gavin told him.

“After his father passed away, he was told to provide for me, but he had broken his own father’s promise. He carries his pride on his shoulders like a demon he’s friends with.”

Upon arriving at home, the fury for the man was large within Gavin. While Mr. Gruchy talked with Kerry and Ray. He spoke to Michael about their conversations.

“There had to be some kind of misunderstanding between the two,” Michael suggested. “You don’t know Haywood’s side to have an opinion in this type of conversation.”

“It seems like something he would do, though,” Gavin said. “I trust Gruchy more than I trust Haywood.”

Mr. Ramsey’s ball was upon them and out of kindness, Ramsey had invited Gruchy to attend as well. Gavin was quite excited as the man had asked him to promise two dances with him, though, his excitement was cut short. Mr. Heyman had asked him to promise him the first danced as Michael was apparently engaged. Out of politeness, he agreed as his time with Gruchy would be at a later time.

While in the carriage, he thought over his promise and his eyes widened to the thought and then his stomach flipped. He was chosen to marry him. He was doomed to marry Mr.  Heyman.

“Gav, you okay?” his mother asked as she noticed all colour drain from his cheeks.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

The ball had started poorly for him, had he found out from Mr. Ramsey that Mr. Gruchy had been called away on business and due to someone he wasn’t ready to talk with. Gavin looked at Mr. Haywood and huffed away, unable to look at him.

Mr. Haywood’s face was red as the curtains on the wall as he took Gavin’s hand and led him to the dancefloor. The poor man was awkward and shy in his steps. Gavin desperately tried to make it work but the two dances didn’t go as well as he hoped. After, he was offered by an officer, and he was happy to dance with someone who actually knew the steps to take.

Gavin had rushed over to Jack after dancing and told him of his situation with Mr. Gruchy and now with Mr. Heyman. During light conversation, Mr. Haywood as approached and offered his hand. Gavin had accepted without thinking and couldn’t take his word back as Mr. Haywood was already walking away.

“He seems like a nice man,” Jack teased.

“Don’t start with me,” he warned, knowing that Jack was aware of his feelings towards the man.

It was a sight to see Mr. Haywood walk to the dancefloor with Gavin by his side. Gavin could the eyes of many people on them. They stood in silence facing each other as they waited for the music.

“Talk to me, Mr. Haywood. Are you enjoying the ball tonight? How are the couples here? The size of the rooms?” Gavin started. Mr. Haywood smiled, knowing very well that Gavin was to get a complete answer. “Good enough answer, I suppose. I have to say I rather more private balls than large ones.” The music had started and they took a step forward, doing a common traditional dance. They never took their eyes off each other.

“Do you usually talk so much during a dance?” he spoke. They separated for a moment and turned back, Gavin placed his hand on Haywood’s shoulder as he placed his hand on his waist.

“Sometimes, it’ll be kind of boring to be quiet for half an hour. Unless we have to.” Gavin looked up at him.

“Are you talking based on your own opinion or my own as well?”

“We aren’t exactly the most social in society. We only talk if we are expected to talk, hoping it will awe our audience.”

It was as if they were the only two among the other dancers.

“Sounds like you’re speaking about me more than yourself.”

“I am in control of my own performance,” Gavin replied. He did not reply. He asked if him and his brothers walked often to Meryton. Slowly the dance came to a stop and there they stood in front of the other.

“Yes, and while we were there, we were making friends.”

Haywood’s posture straightened and Gavin suddenly felt small. “Mr. Gruchy is blessed with such a happy personality that he has an easy time making friends, though, it may not be as easy to keep them.”

“It must be a great loss to lose your friendship,” Gavin emphasised. Mr. Haywood was at a loss to say and they were interrupted by Sir Pattillo, Jack’s father, to compliment them on their dancing. He declared that Mr. Haywood couldn’t have picked a better partner to dance with, and then mentioned Michael and Ramsey. Mr. Haywood turned to his friend, and Gavin to his brother. They were happily dancing together. Michael’s laugh was booming as they joked around.

Sir Pattillo excused himself and the two looked at each other. “Sir Pattillo’s interruption made me forget what we were talking about.”

“Mhmm, we weren’t talking much before.”

“What books are you reading at the moment?” he asked, smiling. He did his best to soften his figure.

“I’m pretty sure our taste in literature is very different from each others’,” Gavin answered. Haywood sighed, knowing it wasn’t going to be easy.

“I’m sorry you think so, maybe we can compare them instead?” he urged, anything to keep him by his side in conversation, but it seemed like Gavin did not want to continue on such a small topic.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to keep a conversation on books, my mind is somewhere else,” he said bashfully. He fixed his white gloves.

“Does the _present_ occupy you this way?” Mr. Haywood said, curious about his thoughts.

“ _Always_ ,” Gavin admitted. His eyes were fixed on his brother and the other man. He was lost in thought and Mr. Haywood could only get lost in his gaze. He wondered if the man even thought about his hair as it seemed a mess, but, it was unique to his design, and he wouldn’t change it. “I remember hearing about you that you never forgave, that the resentment you created was unavoidable. I would guess, that you would be cautious in the way it was created.”

“I am.” he didn’t lie.

“You are not someone to be taken by prejudice?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Perhaps the first impression doesn’t affect you.”

“Why are you asking me all this?” Mr. Haywood asked, taken aback by the sudden interview.

“Every since I met you, I’ve been trying to decode your being,” Gavin explained.

“Have you succeeded Mr. Burns?”

“I have not. I get many different stories about you that don’t add up.”

“Well, what people say are different depending on our acquaintance. And I wish, I hope, Gavin, that you do not sketch my character based on what people have told you about me,” he sighed. “Do not sketch me based on the present.”

“If I cannot like you now, when will I ever?”

“I’m sorry,” Mr. Haywood apologized before he was gone into the crowd. The pain in his chest was unbearable. He couldn’t blame Gavin, but he knew who else to blame.

 


	3. The Proposal from the Clergyman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Heyman, Mr. Burns' cousin, pays a visit to Longbourn in hopes of marrying one of his sons.

Griffon ran up to Gavin with news. She took his hands in hers and her eyes looked liked she heard the most devastating news of the day.

“I heard you are very much interested in Mr. Daniel Gruchy. Your brother was telling me earlier. Please, don’t believe all what he says, especially against Mr. Haywood. Mr. Haywood never used Mr. Gruchy in such an ill fashion as what he told you. I do not know the details but Haywood had only treated Mr. Gruchy with uttermost civility. His father was a steward to the old Mr. Haywood, and stuff happened but please, don’t put the blame on Mr. Haywood.”

“I can’t believe you,” Gavin replied, he pulled away. Griffon seemed hurt but Gavin was more than confused and seeked his brother for better information.

“I can’t tell you for sure as Mr. Ramsey doesn’t know the entirety of the story either, but, he swears upon Mr. Haywood’s good behaviour towards him. If anything, Mr. Haywood’s been too nice with him and Mr. Gruchy deserves much worse.” Michael told him as they sat down in a corner of the room.

“Yeah but, Mr. Ramsey doesn’t know him personally. I understand he wants to give in a good word for his best friend,” Gavin replied before Michael was taken away by Mr. Ramsey himself.

When dinner arrived, Gavin couldn’t feel more embarrassed as his mother talked of a possible marriage between Michael and Mr. Ramsey.

“Please, Mom, it’s not set in stone,” Gavin tried to quiet her down. Mrs. Burns might as well have too much wine in her bloodstream.

“It’s completely obvious that the two are attracted to each other,” she replied loud enough for almost the entire room to hear. Gavin only slumped in his chair, hoping that he would disappear in the mess of a ball.

The next morning, Gavin had walked past the drawing room, hoping not to be seen by Mr. Heyman and his mother.

“Gavin, please, come here,” she called out sweetly.  He took a deep breath and he hoped it wasn’t for the topic he was dreading so much. He stood in the hall for a moment, hearing up Mr. Heyman’s departure in merely a few day’s time. He walked to the dining room and Mr. Heyman was fixing his collar and his mother was looking at him with big green eyes. Her hands were together tightly as she got up from her seat and leave them two alone.

“Mr. Burns,” Mr. Haywood started. Gavin gulped.

“Please, Mr. Heyman. Uhm, I must go with my mother,” he said quickly, hoping to get out of the situation but he couldn’t. It was too late.

He began. “I had come to Longbourn to see my cousin, and with encouragement from Lord Farmahini, to marry one of his sons. Now, don’t be so modest, I understand that perhaps my feelings are all over the place at the moment, but I assure you with due time, we might come to enjoy each other’s presence. With you being the second son, income did not really matter to me. Though, you are to only inherit a thousand a year. I will not take it on you when we are married.”

“I’m sorry Mr. Heywood. Your proposal is beyond a compliment to me. But, I cannot accept them,” Gavin interrupted, not wanting to hear anymore of it. Mr. Heyman was taken aback as  his lips curled, not knowing what to say at first.

“I heard that it’s common, for bachelors to refuse the first time when they really mean to accept. It is not to be discouraged though, words shall be different when we walk down the aisle,” he continued. Gavin stood his ground.

“I’m deeply sorry, but my refusal is very certain and honest,” Gavin replied, a little louder now. “I am very sure, that I am not the man for you and you, are not the man for me. You cannot make me happy, and I am very sure, I would make you unhappy as well. Please, tell Lord Farmahini I am very well ill qualified for such an honourable position.”

“I have only good things to say about you to Lord Farmahini.”

“I am sincere in my words to you, Mr. Heyman. This proposal is beyond honourable, but, it is impossible for me to accept. I am not here to play games with you. I am to speak the rational truth from the deepest corners of my heart.” Gavin hoped for the subject to be dropped. Mr. Heyman was a tall, dark figure, looming over him. He didn’t remember when he got so close. He wanted to hold onto the wall as the air of the room was heavy as the morning fog. Mr. Heyman left the room and Gavin left out whimpers of anxiety as he took a seat on the couch to recollect his thoughts.

Mrs. Burns was very well aware of Gavin declining Mr. Heyman’s offer. As a mother, she could only wish happiness upon her son but his refusal was not to be taken lightly. She picked up her dress and headed to the library to see her husband.

She knocked on the door and she was let in.  Mr. Burns was writing a letter and looked up to greet his wife. She walked on over and bent over the desk to place a kiss on his lips. He brought a hand to her cheek and stroked it.

“What is bothering you, Ashley?” he spoke softly, seeing the pained look in her eyes.

“Gavin refused Mr. Heyman’s proposal,” she said.

“And you want to be mad about it, but you can’t?” he guessed. She nodded. He kissed her forehead. “Bring him in, and I’ll pretend to be mad, okay?”

She smiled.

“Gavin! Please come in,” he called out. After a few moments, Gavin appeared.

“Yes, father?” he greeted.

“I heard of your refusal.” he started.

“Please, father, understand me,” he interrupted. Mr. Burns put up his hand to stop him. Gavin quietly apologized.

“It cannot sit well with me if you do not accept his proposal,” he began, seeing the look of terror in his son’s eyes, “But it will make me ill, if you do accept.”

Gavin’s facial features softened. He looked up at his mother who smiled and opened her arms for him.  He wrapped his arms around her.

“Bless you my child, do whatever makes you happy, thank your father too,”  she said and Gavin was quick to hug him back.

Jack slowly entered the home like he always did, and he was welcomed by Kdin and Ray.

“Did you hear the news?” Ray started. Jack took off his hat and furrowed his eyebrows.

“No? What is going on, if I may ask?” he replied.

“Mr. Heyman proposed to Gavin and he refused him!”

Jack sighed. His entrance has brought down Michael and Gavin, followed by Kerry. Gavin looked at him and signed that the man was still in the home.

Gavin felt too awkward to talk in his presence, but Jack, upon seeing Mr. Heyman’s distress went to go comfort him.

“I do not understand his refusal, am I doing something ill to him?” Mr. Heyman said.

“No, I don’t believe so, do not take his refusal so harshly Mr. Heyman.”

After breakfast, Gavin insisted on walking to Meryton, hoping to see Mr. Gruchy. And he did, and learned that his absence was based on his unwilling to see Mr. Haywood face-to-face. His attention to was Gavin was flattering as he offered to walk him back to Longbourn.

Upon their entrance, Mrs. Burns was in hysterics over a letter from Netherfield addressed to Michael. Michael took the letter in hands and began to read the caricature.

“It’s from Griffon Ramsey, she writes me to inform that the party has left Netherfield, and are going to London, without any intentions of coming back,” he read aloud, his voice shaking by the end of the sentence. Gavin could see Michael’s heart breaking in his eyes yet he still tried to look calm. “Geoff was due to stay in London for merely a few days but it seems like his work had called upon for him to stay and Griffon had to follow along with the rest of the party. They will not be returning for the winter either. Mr. Haywood wants to visit his sister, Lindsay. Though, I do not think her to be as perfect as told, it might be decided that Geoff will marry Miss Haywood. Oh Lord, what am I going to do?”

It was clear by the letter that Mr. Ramsey was in love with Michael but it was believed that the love was not returned. Michael folded the letter and put it in his jacket pocket. He held back tears as Gavin confided he would figure something out.

Michael Burns had turned into a ghost, a floating spirit with dead eyes and Gavin was left holding him up. Jack invited everyone for dinner, even Mr. Heyman, and Gavin hoped it would lift his spirits.

Mr. Heyman was more talkative, to Jack.

“Mr. Heyman, please, come to dinner,” he called out. Mr. Heyman walked into the dining room with what seemed like flour on his clothes. He looked extremely casual compared to everyone else.

“The cakes aren’t done! I still need to put in the jam in the tarts,” he announced.

“I’ll handle it, just, sit down and commence,” Jack told him.

When everyone was settled down, Mr. Heyman looked like he was ready to announce something. Jack looked at him and smiled.

“Jack has accepted my proposal for marriage,” he nervously said aloud. Everyone turned to them. Mrs. Burns’ face lit up like the sun at dawn. They had applied for Lord Farmahini’s approval and it was accepted that morning. They would be moving to St. James’ right after the wedding.

The rest of the dinner went quietly, and Jack had come to stay the night. It was early morning when Gavin caught him looking for the teapot and eventually asking the maid.

“Jack! Really? Mr. Heyman?” he asked as he helped prepare tea. Jack never enjoyed having tea made for him and prefered making his own.

“Are you surprised? Am I not a good choice after he failed with you?” he questioned. “Mr. Heyman and I are getting along very well. I was never much of a romantic but I believe that I will be happy in this marriage, maybe even happier than I judged.”

Gavin sat down at the table to think. Jack didn’t think of marriage the same way as he did and it would have to sink that his best friend was married to Mr. Heyman and would soon be a Mr. Heyman as well!

Though, the Burns family wasn’t ill towards the Pattillo's on the marriage. Mrs. Burns’ congratulations were very sincere and even Michael was surprised by the match but he wished them very well.

Gavin felt separated from Jack, and he knew it was his own bitterness. While Jack did feel quite separated, he was no longer in need of Gavin’s complete company as he had Mr. Heyman to fill the gaps in conversation. For a man so quiet, he had opened up to Jack very quickly and perhaps that he felt the slightest bit of love towards him, and Mr. Heyman’s heart was enlarging as well. It would take time but Jack was one to never rush things.

Jack never told Gavin of how Mr. Heyman proposed. It was a quiet evening in which they took a walk in the field at twilight. Jack was willing to listen to Mr. Heyman, and how he was beyond the age of marriage and he believed that Gavin would’ve been a quality husband. Though, he felt cheated and perhaps the meeting wouldn’t bring him happiness at all.

The moon was high in the sky and it would be logical to go back to the house before it was too dark, but they were too deep in conversation to even bother. He slipped it after Jack offered to go back to home. He had apologized at first but Jack told him, yes, he’ll marry him.

Michael admitted to Gavin that he responded to Griffon’s letter very quickly about Mr. Ramsey’s return but it had been a week and there had been no response. The talk of marriage around the home brought him distress for his own unstable lover. Mr. Heyman couldn’t stop talking about how happy he was with Jack and Lord Farmahini’s approval. Michael was quick to cover up his emotions but it was clear that he wanted to cover his ears and hide in his bed until the talk of marriage was over.

Michael finally received a letter from the Ramseys, and it was even more disheartening. The letter started with the confirmation they they will stay in London for the winter, and Mr. Ramsey’s deep apology for not saying good-bye before departing. It continued with the desire to marry Mr. Ramsey to Mr. Haywood’s sister, Lindsay. The letter spoke on how well the two had been getting along and how well-educated the young girl was.

It angered Gavin, though, he was split between his concern for his brother and hate for everyone else. How could they not see his interest in his brother?

It took a while for Michael to take a deep breath and talk with him.

“I love him, I can’t deny it anymore, Gavin, I am in love with Mr. Ramsey,” he admitted. His lips quivered as he spoke. Gavin was quiet. “I will never forget him. He is embedded in my memories as the best man I ever met. It’ll take some time but soon this feeling may pass and I will be in peace again.”

“Michael, no, you are the most modest, selfless man I know. I do not know what to tell you,” Gavin exclaimed.

“I am not,” Michael mumbled.

“You are perfect, in every sense. I love you more than I love anyone in the world, and I can’t see you go off and get married like Jack! A loveless marriage,” he stood up from his seat. He paced their small bedroom.

“How do you know it’s not a loveless marriage, Gavin? You’re only spectating because he proposed only a few days after he proposed to you! Jack is a great man, and why can’t you just be happy for him?” Michael’s voice rose. “Don’t you dare think so lowly of someone you considered your best friend for over twenty-years! Don’t you dare think so lowly of him either because he would be marrying her for fortune and relations.”

“Wouldn’t his sister and good friend want his uttermost happiness? To marry him to someone who loves him as much as he loves them?”

“You’re first position is entirely false. They may wish him to marry someone of stable wealth. Good connections! Pride!” Michael tapped his foot, trying to control his temper.

They stood in silence before they exploded in irrational anger.

“Listen, Gavin, it is set in stone that he will marry Miss Haywood. Maybe, I am in the wrong. Griffon is a wonderful sister, she wouldn’t have let her brother go to London if she knew if there was anything at all between us. If she believed him in love with me, she wouldn’t part us. If he loved me, he wouldn’t be marrying someone else. Let me take what we did have in Netherfield in a good light.”

The name of Mr. Ramsey had been dropped entirely, though, it was clear that their father had heard everything from the library.

“You know, Gavin, your brother is crossed in love. It’s sad but it’s the closest thing right now to having one of my sons married. What about you? What about Mr. Gruchy? He seemed nice enough.

“Sorry, Father, but I have no interest in Mr. Gruchy.”

“Let’s just hope then for Mr. Ramsey to return to us.”

After Mr. Heyman’s departure, Mrs. Burns expected her brother and his wife. Mr. and Mrs. Luna arrived one chilly November evening. They came by carriage all the way from London to spend Christmas with them, like they did every year. Mrs. Luna was happy to see her nephews and kissed them all on the cheek and gave them each little presents, despite Mrs. Burns telling her not to spoil them.

“Oh please! They are grown men and a little gift will lift their spirits! They’ve gotten so tall too! Gavin is now the tallest of the five, and Michael might be finally growing a beard!” Mrs. Luna smiled so large at seeing all five of them in the room.

Miles Luna was a successful, educated young man that married the daughter of a professor he met while he was studying. Arryn was helping her father set up for a class when they had met. Though, Arryn was of much higher class than Miles, he proposed anyways and he was soon married and brought into the society of London. He worked as an archivist for the library while his wife was the assistant to her father and perhaps even his successor.

Upon hearing about Michael’s complicated love, Arryn couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

“This man, how could he play with Michael’s heart like that! That is awful! And Gavin, declining Mr. Heyman’s proposal! This is too much, I’m sorry Ashley for all this mess that it caused you,” she said with her hand on her heart.

“Do not worry for me, for I only wish the best for my sons, but please, do something for Michael. He is like a ghost in his own home.” Mrs. Burns begged.

“I will bring him back with me to London, perhaps bring him to the University, get his head in some books. I’m sure my father would enjoy having him there under such circumstances.”

“As long as you can keep his mind busy from Mr. Ramsey, is all I hope for,” Mrs. Burns sighed.

Mr. and Mrs. Luna was soon acquainted with everyone in the neighbourhood, enough that the Burns barely saw them at all! Mrs. Luna spoke to Mr. Gruchy and agreed that he was a respectable character.

“Gavin,” she started as she caught him in the drawing room one evening.”You can’t always rebel because your ideal of marriage is to fall in love first. Take care of yourself, and do go running after him if he doesn’t run back. There are better men or women out there for you. Consider your circumstances compared to his.”

“I’m being very serious. I will take very good care of Mr. Gruchy.”

“Gavin, please.”

“I’m sorry, let me rephrase. I am not in love with Mr. Gruchy, and I will not push it any further. Perhaps I will. I don’t even know myself. He was a very agreeable man and my father accepts him. I cannot love a man like Mr. Haywood. He makes my blood boil under my skin. But I assure you, my opinion on marriage is as serious as it ever is,” he promised her.

Michael was set for London before Mr. Heyman’s marriage and he wished them well early in the morning before his departure. Gavin kissed his brother’s cheeks before he boarded the carriage.

The marriage on a Thursday, and while Gavin still disapproved the relationship, seeing Jack in his best attire to marry a man who seemed happier than ever to marry him, it sucked all the air out of his lungs.

“Please, stay in contact with me when I leave for Hertfordshire,” Jack asked him after the ceremony.

“I will, I promise you with every inch of my being, Jack,” Gavin replied.

“Will you come see me?”

“Of course I will. Whenever I get the chance.”

The house was quiet without Michael and his days felt empty without the walk to see Jack. He engrossed himself in the library, reading book after book in between the letters we would send to Jack and soon, he received letters from Michael too.

The first letter was to say he arrived safely in London. He was to stay with Mr. Zech, Mrs. Luna’s father and the studies have commenced right away.

Michael’s second letter was finally meeting with Griffon, though, she seemed troubled and told him that she never knew of his coming to London. In conclusion that she had never received the first letter. Mr. Ramsey was busy with Mr. Haywood much of the time. Though, with Griffon’s meetings, it was clear that Mr. Ramsey knew that he was in town.

_“If he really loved me, he would’ve came to see me by now…”_

Gavin could only sit around and wait.

In the waiting period, he would walk to Meryton to talk to Mr. Gruchy, whom was very happy to have him around. The cool December weather sinked into his bones as he walked down the path for the second time that week. Without Michael around, the air was quiet and Mr. Gruchy’s conversations filled the empty void to speak.

It was undeniable how Mr. Gruchy treated him, though, Gavin made no advancement other than friendly ones. He was the first man to show him any kind of attention to him, yet, he could not find it in his heart to return the sentiment.

“Father, I am taking the trip to London, to see my brother,” he announced at the dinner table.

“Alone?”

“Yes, I have already called the carriage to leave before breakfast tomorrow,” he had his back straight as he looked at his father in the eyes. His mother was more into his father’s response than his inquiring.

“Alright then, be careful, my son, please say hi to Michael when you see him in London, I miss him greatly,” he gave permission.

The carriage ride was long, as anticipated. He had only his books to occupy himself.

Michael was out the door before Gavin could get off the carriage. His brown eyes looked more alive and healthy, guessing that being away from Longbourne had done him well.

He sat beside his aunt, and Mrs. Luna had told him that she believed that Michael had dropped his acquaintance with Mr. Ramsey.

“Did you let Mr. Gruchy sway you?”

“No, I did not.”

He was told that Mr. Gruchy had become extremely friendly with a younger girl of a heritage of only ten thousand pounds.

“Why does it matter so much?” Gavin asked.

“He is a mercenary.”

“Her saying yes, does not justify him either.” He ran a hand through his hair. He was tired of these men who played games. “I am no longer fond of rich men from Derbyshire and their acquaintances. All of them! I can’t do it anymore.”

 


	4. Rosings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin's heart is pulled and torn as he visits Mr. Heyman and his husband in Hunsford.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried.

Gavin’s stay in London was coming to an end, and he was midst of packing his clothing when Mr. and Mrs Luna had asked him to accompany him to Hunsford. He gladly accepted as he would be seeing Jack and his husband.

“Gavin, I have a gift for you,” Mrs. Luna giggled as he husband went to go prepare the carriage. In her hands she had a book. He smiled as she presented it to him. “It’s a book of short stories, from romance to tragedy. I hope you enjoy it.”

“I’m sure I will, thank you dearly,” he said before she left him to finish packing.

Gavin was reading the book until Mr. Luna tapped his thigh to look out the window. They were turning to the lane to Hunsford and in view was the marvelous Rosings Park with the high fence. A little further down did they spot the home of Mr. Heyman and Jack.

Jack was extremely happy to welcome him in his new home. Gavin was surprised to see Mr. Heyman greet him with such enthusiasm as well. Through conversation, Gavin saw how happy Mr. Heyman was, complimenting his husband’s interior decorating as he showed them the home.

“Joel, please,” Jack sighed, a flush of pink on his cheeks.

“No no! Jack, no need to hide how well you’ve kept the house,” Joel said loudly.

It made Gavin smile, that perhaps the marriage was worthwhile. Though, Jack Pattillo was now Jack Heyman, and it dripped off his tongue like sour cherries.

Lord Brandon Farmahini was in the country, Gavin was told, and he would have the opportunity to meet him the coming Sunday.

“Lord Farmahini is a very exquisite gentleman. Very respectable and a very attentive neighbour,”Jack said.

“I’m looking forward to meeting him,” Gavin politely replied, trying to hide his nerves to meet someone so prestigious.

When Gavin retreated to his chamber after conversing after what seemed like hours, he settled in the bed, opening the book his aunt had gifted him and read a story to ease his mind.

The next morning, Adam, the butler, came knocking at his door.

“Mr. Burns! There's a sight to see outside!” he said eagerly.Mr. Burns exited his chamber and followed him down the steps to a window that faced the lane.

“Well, I was expecting something more exciting than Lord Farmahini and his daughter,” Gavin announced in vain.

“That is not Lord Farmahini, that’s the butler, and Miss Farmahini,” Adam told him.

“She’s so small, and pale, just my type,” Gavin describes sarcastically. Mr. Heyman joined his husband in talk with the two. “Not really, but, doesn’t it seem rude to you to keep the couple outside in all this wind. Jack’s merely in a sweater!”

“The daughter doesn’t visit very often.” Adam explained.

Mr. Heyman entered the house in a panic. Jack tried to calm him down and hushed him.

“Lord Farmahini is inviting us for tea on Sunday, and then wants us to stay at Rosings for dinner!” he boasted.

On the day, everyone around the house was frantically getting ready for the dinner. Mr. Heyman had stopped him in the hall.

“Don’t worry about your clothing, Gavin. Just, wear your best and he won’t judge you. He rather have the difference of ranks conserved among his peers,” he told him. Gavin nodded before going back to find his best jacket, tie, gloves and top hat. He had worn them before at balls but never at a dinner. He tried to brush his hair down to his best ability, though, he didn’t feel exactly like himself anymore and messed it a little. His hair would be covered by his hat. He cleaned any marks on his boots and took a deep breath.

He followed Mr. Heyman, Jack, and the Lunas to the Farmahini home. The weather was clear and the hair was fresh. Gavin looked up to the mansion of a home and he became more and more anxious to step into the establishment.

He was overwhelmed by the grandeur of the entrance and all the paintings and decorations that hung on the walls. They followed the servants to the antechamber and there sat Lord Farmahini, his daughter, and his butler.

Lord Brandon Farmahini was a tall man, but not much taller than him. His hair was in thick black curls around his face, neatly placed. His skin was darker from the many trips he was able to afford to take. His cufflinks shown in the light of the sun from the large windows behind them. His dark eyes were once more handsome when he was younger, but his age was catching up with him. He spoke in a very authoritative tone, making sure he was heard as the most important person in the room.

Miss Farmahini was a small, thin, girl. More likely to be like her mother than her father. Her blonde hair was just as extravagant and she was dressed in lace and pastels. She was a very quiet girl, and only spoke to the butler.

The dinner was as plentiful and exquisite as Mr. Heyman had told him about. Mr. Heyman was the one doing most of the talking, complementing Lord Farmahini on his choice of chefs and meals. Gavin was willing to speak, but he could not find an opening. He was between Jack and Miss Farmahini. Jack was too busy listening to the conversation while the daughter said barely anything at all to him. He ate in silence, making sure to be as elegant as possible.

After dinner, he followed Jack and Lord. Farmahini to the drawing room, where he spoke to Jack about his upbringing in his new home. He then turned to Gavin.

“How many brothers do you have, Gavin?” he asked.

“I have four brothers, I am the second oldest,” he replied, keeping it to the point. He then asked if any will be married soon. What kind of home they had, their carriage, any detail of his current living.

“Do you play the piano?” he asked.

“Very little.”

“Do any of your brothers play?”

“We all play a little bit.”

“I’m disappointed to hear that not all of you were taught to play. What about drawing?”

“None of us really draw.”

“That is particular, haven’t your parents ever taken you into town?”

“My mother would love to go, but it’s my father that doesn’t enjoy London.”

“Did your governor leave you?”

“We never had a governor.”

“What a unique situation! Five young men, brought up without a governor! Your mother must’ve been a slave to your education!”

“It’s not the case,” Gavin kept back chuckles from his reaction. “We were to brought up to pursue our own interests. Many of us were encouraged to read, or pursue our own studies.”

“I should try to convince your mother to hire a governor. I know many that are worthy of teaching five rowdy boys. Are any of your brothers out, Mr Burns?”

“Yes, all of them.”

“My God! The younger ones out before the oldest two are married!”

“My youngest brother is three-and-twenty, very much of age to be out with the rest of us. I don’t think it would be fair, to keep back the younger siblings at home while their older brothers are out enjoying the last of their youth before we are married. We’re all allowed to grasp youth before it is taken away from us, even when the older children are not much children anymore.”

“You talk your opinion so openly for someone of your age. How old are you?”

“I am six-and-twenty,” he replied.

When it was time to leave, Gavin stuck by Jack’s side, happy to remove his hat and gloves, and indulge in informality with his best friend.

“That was a stressful experience,” he told them on their walk back.

“You get very much used to it, I rather let Joel talk Brandon’s ear off or the opposite,” Jack chuckled.

Gavin spent his days with Jack, reading, or taking walks. The weather had been pleasant, and he wished to take advantage of it. With his sleeves rolled up on a looser shirt, he took the stroll, letting the cool air freshen his mind. The path was no where near Lord Farmahini’s home, and he was happy for that, for he won’t be questioned again. The trees hung over him, and he felt like he was the character in one of the short stories in the book. Though, there was no young man or woman waiting for him at the end of the path.

Gavin learned that Mr. Haywood will be at Rosings in a few weeks. He mentally groaned for his arrival, and was not looking forward to it.

Jack came to him when he saw him at his gate from his husband’s window. He wasn’t alone, he had arrived with Colonel Risinger, his uncle’s youngest son.

“Gavin, he’s here, with someone, ” he said.

He paid his respects to Jack, for they had never spoken to each other before.  He was very polite and complimented him on his home. Colonel Risinger was a very happy man, and he spoke openly with Jack like they had known each other for years.

“Mr. Burns,” he addressed.

“Mr. Haywood,” he bowed.

“I hope your family is doing well,” he said, licking his lips.

“Very well, by the way, Michael is in London at the moment. I understand that you were in town recently,” he said bitterly.

“I have been very busy while I was in town, I didn’t have the pleasure of seeing him.”

The topic was dropped and Mr. Haywood and Colonel Risinger left soon after.

The next day, Colonel Risinger had invited them to Rosings, and Gavin couldn’t get along better with the man. They sat in the drawing room where Lord Farmahini welcomed them with civility.Gavin found him so easy to talk to and soon they were talking about their homes and music, and recent books they’ve read. They laughed and enjoyed each other’s company so well, that it had caught Lord’s Farmahini’s ear as well as Mr. Haywood’s.

“What are you two chatting on about?”

“Well, we are talking about music, sir,” he responded, unable to avoid the question.

“Music is such a beautiful subject, so speak aloud. Your sister, Lindsay, she plays the piano very well,” he turned to Mr. Haywood, who was sitting comfortably in his seat.

“Yes, she does, she practices quite often,” Mr. Haywood replied.

“I have told Mr. Burns that he wouldn’t get better at the piano if he doesn’t practice,” Lord Farmahini said. Gavin bit his lip and looked down. His next tie suddenly feeling too tight.

“Gavin told me he’ll play a tune for me,” Colonel Risinger announced. Gavin nodded and smiled before taking his cue to the piano. It was large, and intimidating, and he wished he never said a thing. He sat down in the chair and his fingers lingered on the keys as he tried to recollect his memory on a piece he used to play. Colonel Risinger pulled a chair to sit next to him at the piano. Gavin looked at him and his smile was enough to settle his nerves.

He began to play, pressing the keys to the best of his memory. Astonished of himself that he wasn’t half bad. Half-way through a song, he felt Mr. Haywood take a seat closer to him.

“Mr. Haywood, you may come closer if you wish,” Gavin said aloud as he paused.

“I’m quite alright over here, thank you for your consideration,” he replied.

“You two know each other very well, I’m assuming,” Colonel Risinger intersected.

“We’ve met before,” Haywood said.

“That is clearly an understatement, Mr. Haywood is capable of bringing out of my true character by now. He would also tell you to not believe a word I say. He’s also not the most social man I’ve met in my life.”

“I do not have the talent that you possess. I cannot talk easily with people I do not know,” he admitted.

Gavin sighed. “See my fingers? They do not touch these keys like other skillful men and women. I am no master of the instrument. Though, it is my own fault, as I never practiced enough. I do not believe my fingers are any less capable of learning than anyone else.”

Mr. Haywood’s eyes opened wide, as his mouth slightly opened. Gavin was looking at him with smug blue eyes that made his knees weak. His mouth curled into a smile as he relaxed in his chair. “You are entirely correct. You have dedicated your time to more important things. It has been a privilege to hear you play, Mr. Burns.”

Mr. Burns continued where he paused, hoping that he remembered correctly. He was only educated some more by Mr. Farmahini and how he should practice more and put his back straighter while he played. Mr. Haywood and Colonel Risinger never left his side and continued to listen to him play.

The next day, Jack had gone into town with his husband to pick up a few things. He was invited to come but he politely refused, not wanting to intrude on their voyage. He was reading a book in his room when the doorbell rang. He wasn’t expecting a visitor at all, and curiously walked down to the door, and surprised to open to Mr. Haywood.

“I’m sorry, I thought everyone was home,” he apologized.

“Mr. and Mr. Heyman have headed into town,” he said.

Gavin offered him a seat in the drawing room and he took a seat. He seemed quite anxious in his seat as Gavin took a seat across from him. He asked if everything was going well at Rosings and Mr. Haywood said everything was fine.

The air of the room was heavy as Gavin tried to make himself comfortable. He fixed his white neck tie as it felt tight and somewhat asphyxiating.

“It was quite a surprise to us, when you left Netherfield last November. Mr. Ramsey left merely the day before, and you were right behind him the day after. Was Griffon happy when you left London not too long ago?”

“Griffon was doing very well, thank you.”

Gavin was unsure on how to continue the conversation. “I’ve heard that Mr. Ramsey has no intentions of returning?”

“He’s very busy at this time, but, he never said such a thing. His life will keep him from visiting for very long in the future.”

“He might as well give up the place if he won’t be there very often.”

“He will probably give it up once a reasonable price is given.”

Gavin stayed quiet, had he no longer wanted to continue the subject about his friend. Mr. Haywood had caught on.

“Lord Farmahini did a very good job of the home before Mr. Heyman settled in.”

Gavin looked up to the room. “He did quite a marvelous job with it.”

“Mr. Heyman is lucky to have found himself such a wonderful partner.”

“Mr. Heyman and then, Mr. Pattillo do work very well with each other. My friend makes Mr. Heyman a very happy man.” Gavin smiled, thinking about his best friend and remembering watching Jack fix Mr. Heyman’s neck tie before their departure. He found it lovely and heart warming.

“Lucky for him for having found a home so close to his family.”

Gavin raised an eyebrow. “He is more fifty miles away.”

“Well, it’s only a little more than a half a day’s travel.”

“That’s still quite far!” Gavin insisted.

“Anything farther than Longbourn might seem far to you.” he said with a slight smile that Gavin understood his reference to Michael and Netherfield. “I am not saying a wife or husband must live close to their family. But, in the case of Mr. Heyman’s income, they wouldn’t be travelling very often. An occasional carriage ride is better than frequent visits.”  

He paused to lean over close to him. “You don’t have the right to have such an attachment. You never stayed too long at Longbourn.”

Gavin was very surprised; he couldn’t speak. Mr. Haywood leaned back into the chair.

Mr. Heyman and Jack soon arrived. They were very much surprised by Mr. Haywood’s visit. He excused himself for bothering Gavin, and he left.

“I don’t understand, Gavin,” Jack started. “This man must in love with you or he wouldn’t have come to visit at such short notice.”

Gavin excused him as having nothing to do, especially at this time of the year.

Though, Mr. Haywood seemed to be around more often, whether it was with Colonel Risinger, or Lord Farmahini. He sat quietly in the chair, without saying a word for most of the evening. His gaze was always upon Gavin, and how he spoke with the others. Jack was much of an observer, and noticed him. He had mentioned it a few times to only have Gavin laugh it off. Mr. Heyman had told Jack to not press the subject, saying that he was raising the expectations and they will only end in disappointment.

“Maybe, Gavin should marry Colonel Risinger,” Jack mentioned that night before bed. His husband was pulling on his night shirt before crawling in.

“Why?” Mr. Heyman asked.

“He’s a very sensible man, it’s obvious that he admires him very much, his position in life is reasonable for him,” he said as he got into bed as well. His husband took his hand.

“Listen, my dear, you cannot force it upon him. Now, sleep, Gavin will choose a good man.” he comforted before placing a kiss on his beard and blowing out the candle.

It had happened on more than one occasion that Gavin would collide with Mr. Haywood as he walked through the garden. He became a haunting, but Gavin couldn’t just push him away as violently as he wished he could. They usually walked together in silence, but in recent times had he asked him about what he thought of Hunsford, Mr. and Mr. Heyman’s marriage,  what books he enjoyed and if would ever come back to Kent.

Gavin had received a letter from Michael, and had taken it outside with him. There was a wind that morning, and ruffled the leaves on the bushes of flowers. He took a seat on the stone bench. The sun peaked through the leaves of the trees above him. He began to read the letter, and re-read it again, finding the pain of Michael’s words and his meeting with Mr. Haywood before he left for Rosings. In the distance, Gavin saw Colonel Risinger and he folded the letter and put it in his coat. The Colonel happily sat beside him on the bench.

“I didn’t know you walked this way,” Gavin mentioned.

“Well, it is a beautiful passage,” he replied.

“I heard you’re leaving Kent this Sunday.”

“Yes, I will, if Mr. Haywood doesn’t postpone it again. I am at his disposal. He arranges everything.”

“Mr. Haywood seems to enjoy his power greatly.”

Colonel Risinger chuckled. “He likes it when things go his way. We all do, but he is rich, and others are poor. I speak from experience.”

“You’re the son of an earl. Have you ever been prevented from any wants?”

“I am the youngest son of an earl, I cannot choose my future wife or husband as freely as my brothers can.”

“Freely as if they fancy a woman or man of large fortune.”

“Not many people have the same rank as I do, and sure think of money when it comes to marrying.”

He looked at him with large eyes as the topic was dropped and they fell into silence. The only thing they heard was the ruffle of the leaves on the tree above them. Gavin could feel his heart beat in his fingers, thinking that he may of directed the line towards him.

“I can imagine your cousin brought you down here just for his disposal.”

“Not really, I didn’t mind the trip. I’m in joint guardianship of his sister.”

“Are you really? She seems like a handful.”

He laughed. “No, she’s a wonderful, charming young lady”

“I’m not saying I’ve heard ill of her. I’ve heard only great things. She seems to get along very well with Miss Ramsey.”

“Ah yes, her brother is a good friend of Mr. Haywood.”

“Mr. Haywood is uncommonly kind to Mr. Ramsey.”

“Yes, Mr. Haywood does take very good care of his friend. He told me a tale on our way here. He wished me to keep my mouth shut, because if the story would spread to this young man’s family.”

Gavin was intrigued. “I wouldn’t tell a soul.”

“His friend, fancied a young man, but, he concluded that it wouldn’t be a fair marriage at all! His friend was very much in love with him, but, it seemed that the love was not returned. He believed that it was just like Mr. Ramsey to get in such a mess, and he was there to clean it up.”

“Did he give you any reason to why he interfered?”

“Not really, I understood that he didn’t like the man very much.”

Gavin felt his heart drop into his stomach. “I don’t know why he would keep his friend from being happy. He shouldn’t had intervened at all! Who is to choose who is suitable for him?” he said angrily.

Colonel Risinger agreed with him and taken aback by his sudden outburst.

“That young man, is my brother, Colonel Risinger. My brother is the kindest, loving man ever and I cannot believe any objection towards him!” he cried. He couldn’t have hated Mr. Haywood more than he did now. Believed that the wealth and connections of the marriage more important than sense and admiration. His selfishness and pride of wanting Ramsey for only his sister.

“I am deeply sorry,” Risinger apologized, hoping it would lift his mood. Gavin took his comfort and soon the agony turned into rage.

“I must part you now, I apologize greatly, I hope to see you again soon, Colonel Risinger,” he said in hurry. Colonel Risinger took his hand and laid a gentle kiss on it before he let him go and watched him run back home.

Gavin couldn’t stop pacing around the evening and much of the next morning. The clouds had rolled in during the night and it began to rain in the morning, leaving the air with heavy humidity. He had reread all of Michael’s letter since he’s been in Kent. All the letters had Michael’s usual sarcasm and kindness. The more he read into them, the more he seemed upset and uneasiness of him being in London. His studying wasn’t helping keeping his mind off Mr. Ramsey while they were in the same town.  He was trying desperately to be strong but he was crumbling and Gavin could only pray that this will all be settled soon.

He saw the long black coat outside the window.

“Oh God, no,” he said under his breath and opened the front door and walked out in the rain towards him. His eyes widened at his stride and how he did not care for the rain that came down on them.

“Gavin, I must tell you. It’s not easy at all for me to say this and I cannot keep silent any longer.” He took a deep breath and looked up and back down. He continued, “Everything, anything, all of it. I cannot repress these feelings any longer. Mr. Gavin, I came to Rosings for the single objective to see you, and talk to you. I went against my better judgement, against the family’s expectations for a partner, your inferiority of rank, I am willing to let all of this go, and erase all this vain thoughts of mine.

Gavin’s lip trembled, from both the cold and hearing Ryan’s deep voice with such emotion. “I really don’t understand.”

“I love you, most ardently.”

The blood rushed to his cheeks, and he could see the flush on Mr. Haywood’s cheeks as well. His clothes were sticking to his skin from the rain. He tried to remain composed and rearranged the words in his head to not seem like a fool. His dislike of the man, still couldn’t let his mouth run wild.

“I am sorry for causing you such pain. It was not my intentions at all. It was mostly unconsciously done, and I hope to be of short duration.” Gavin began. “These feelings feel like the entire opposite of what you have expressed to me.”

It seemed like Mr. Haywood could fall apart at his feet, but Gavin stood his ground, despite his teeth chattering and his joints begging for warmth.

“And this is the reply which I have the honour of expecting! May I ask why to my rejection?”

“Where can I start, my good sir? Have you the decency of insulting me, telling me you loved me against your will, against your reason, and against your character? Why am I to be the uncivil one? I have other things that could provoke you, but I rather not say. Had I had not have my feelings towards you already decided, or even been favourable, do you think I would even consider you after you’ve broken the heart and the happiness of my beloved brother?” Gavin was almost shouting. He no longer cared for patience or thinking about what may spill out of his mouth.

“You are the reason why, these two, these two people who were believed in love, he loved him, are apart now. You cannot deny that you have murdered the hope of one, and caused instability for the other.”

“I cannot deny that I had separated the two.”

This isn’t the first time you’ve destroyed somebody’s happiness then. I have disliked you since before this incident, when I spoke to Mr. Gruchy many months ago. What do you have to say about this one? What imaginary excuse of friendship do you have to excuse yourself from?”

“You are really concerned about such a man.” His voice was low but still as harsh.

“You have belittled him to poverty! You have withheld advantages that were designed for him from him. You made this entire mess! I hope you’re proud of it!”

“This is your opinion of me?! This is the estimation you hold against me! I thank you, for explaining it so fully to me now.  Your accusations, would offend me but I know they are entirely false.” he paused. “I am not ashamed of my feelings towards you. Maybe if I hid my struggles better and flattered you more, then we might not have this dispute. My feelings are entirely natural and real. Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of those whom you converse with? Should I be proud of interacting with people who are inferior than me?”

Gavin took a deep breath to regain his composure. His hands were in tight fists at his sides.

“You are mistaken, Mr. Haywood. You could have not given me your hand in any possible way in hopes to my acceptance of it.”

Mr. Haywood was mortified.

Gavin continued, “Ever since I met you, from the moment I made your acquaintance, you’ve impressed me with nothing but your arrogance, your selfish unwilling to be sympathetic towards others, You boiled my blood with your tone, that you were the highest of men. I did not know you even for a month when I realized that you were the last man on earth I would ever want to marry.”

“You’ve said enough,. I understand your feelings and I am ashamed of my own actions. Forgive me for taken up so much of your time, I will leave you alone now. Good day, Gavin Burns,” Mr. Haywood replied in a helpless tone before he turned around to go back to Rosings. Gavin’s chest raised and fell with the deep breaths he took to calm his nerves before rushing back inside. His clothes were soaked to the core and he rushed to change out of them. Once in his new clothes he crawled onto his bed and buried his head in his pillow. His body shook. His mind was in a mess. He had received a marriage proposal from Mr. Haywood.

 


	5. Mr. Haywood's Letter to Gavin.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the proposal, Gavin receives a lengthy letter from Mr. Haywood meant to clear his prejudice against him.

His body and mind felt weak until the next morning. His mind was filled with Mr. Haywood’s crude pride and his disrespect towards his brother and Mr. Gruchy. He got dressed with heavy hands, not bothering with a neck tie as he felt like he needed to breathe. He walked down the steps to the kitchen and was greeted by Jack, whom wasn’t home to see the scene.

“Morning,” he smiled as hard as he could. His tea couldn’t soothe him and so he needed to get out of the house. “I’ll be back in an hour,” he told Jack and he was out the door. He felt the cool breeze against his neck as he walked down his favourite path but as memories of Mr. Haywood flooded his mind once more, he avoided the path and walked up the lane.

In his view was a notable figure in a long black coat, like he knew Mr. Haywood wore the same the day before. He prayed his eyes were playing tricks on him and it was Colonel Risinger coming for him. It was not and Gavin stepped back but it was too late. Mr. Haywood was calling his name and walking quickly towards him.

“I’ve been walking down the lane, hoping to see you again. Will you do me the honour of reading my letter?” he said out of breath before placing the letter in his hands, bowing, and walking back up. He wanted to stomp on it, but the thickness had his curiosity and he slowly broke the seal and found two pieces of paper with dense writing on it.

_Yesterday, in my meeting with you, you have accused me of two very violent offences and please, let me explain it better to you through this letter. The first offence, was no matter their feelings for each other-I had separated your brother from Mr. Ramsey. In your second offence, was that I had ruined the life of Mr. Gruchy, and I have kept him from prosperity._

_I hope in this letter I can clear my charges, as I will only write in entire honesty. I had noticed that Mr. Ramsey prefered your brother over others. I thought not much of it until the evening of the ball that his attachment to him was more than temporary. I remember seeing Mr. Ramsey in love before. At the ball in which I had the honour to dance with you, I was accidentally informed about their possible marriage. I was curious, and I spectated Mr. Ramsey and it was clear that the attention that he had shown Mr. Burns was more than anything I’ve seen before. Your brother, from my observations, was open, friendly, quite loud and sarcastic and therefore, I had been convinced that he did not return the same sentiment. You are his brother, and you know him better than I ever will. My error cannot be taken back now and I have caused him so much pain. It had seemed that despite a big smile, his heart couldn’t have been touched so easily, and he had fooled me. Do not believe that I wished that he could’ve been indifferent to Mr. Ramsey._

_I do not mean to offend you. Please. Thought, your family’s lower status was of questioning in considering the marriage between them. Both Griffon and I shared the same uneasy sentiments towards your brother, and we were soon to tell him our sentiments. Mr. Ramsey had left Netherfield the following day, and wrote you a letter that he might return. Griffon and I followed him shortly after for his safety. I told him how wrong his choice was, and how a proposal shouldn’t happen. I had forced it upon him, but he was determined. A proposal might’ve happened anyways. He had believed that your brother returned the sentiments and I had to hold him back from returning to Hertfordshire. I cannot deny that I have so much, even by trying to conceal your brother’s presence when he arrived in London from him. Griffon hid him as well and Mr. Ramsey was left to believe that your brother was never in London. I believed it was all for the best. I have no other apology to say. I have deeply wounded your brother; it was unknowingly done._

_In a more serious accusation, you have said that I’ve ruined Mr. Gruchy as well. Whatever ill he had told you about me, I do not know. But I must tell you my side of such a story. Mr. Gruchy was the son of a very respectable man. He was the one to manage all the Pemberley estates for many years, and his trust led my father to give his son what his father couldn’t afford. My father sent him to school, and believed he would do well in the church-he would provide the assistance if were to ever enter that field of study. It was only many years later that my sentiments towards him changed._

_My father had died, merely five years ago. In his will, he had left him one thousand pounds and asked me to help him pursue his studies to the best of my ability. He wanted to study the law and one thousand pounds was clearly not enough. I was ready to help him as I knew he wasn’t one to become a clergyman. He had received three thousand pounds from me. He had soon left the school and I was too furious to talk to him again. After three years, I have learned he had joined the army. He was a wanderer. Last summer I had met him again and I had to push aside my anger towards him. My sister, Lindsay, whom is almost ten years my senior was left under the care of Colonel Risinger and myself. About a year ago, we had taken her temporarily away from her studies and her establishment in London, and she went to Ramsgate, a seaside resort. Mr. Gruchy was also in Ramsgate at the time. Lindsay and Mr. Gruchy had met while she was only twenty. She is very much an intelligent young woman at this time but,  Mr. Gruchy was very much kind to her and she had believed to be in love. She wanted to follow through an elopement. I met with her a few days before the supposed elopement, and as a brother to her, practically a father figure, she had told me of her situation. My blood boiled. Mr. Gruchy was gone. His objective was clearly my sister’s fortune, at thirty thousand pounds. All to revenge me._

_This, sir, a faithful narrative of my connections with this man. I hope you understand my hatred towards this man. I do not know of all the false notions he has told you, but I hope you are no longer ignorant of this connection. If you do not believe me, I have Colonel Risinger as my witness and loyal cousin._

_I wish you well._

_James Ryan Haywood_

Gavin had read it once, and then a second time, and a third. He had thrown the letter onto his desk and walked around the room. He wanted it to be false. He wanted every word in the letter to be false. He read it a fourth time, half way through before throwing it on the desk again. Mr. Haywood’s misconception of his brother’s romantic feelings and the harsh telling of Mr. Gruchy. He had never heard of Mr. Gruchy before his entrance into the militia and his actions towards Lindsay had shocked him. He read it again. He slumped on his bed, recollected his thoughts about everything. His conversation with Colonel Risinger only the morning before. Her conversation with Mr. Gruchy in Netherfield. It all began to fall into place.

“This is all my fault!” he shouted into the emptiness of the room. “I have expressed myself in the most prejudiced and ignorant way towards him…” he trailed off. “Reason had escaped me, and now I have caused so much harm.”

He thought of Michael, how his love for Mr. Ramsey was feverish but he kept his love behind freckled cheeks and a rib cage of metal. He thought of Jack’s opinion the matter.

The room was too stuffy, and he had grabbed the letter and rushed out the door and into the air. He ran down the path to the bench with the trees and sat down there, reading the letter and thinking about his parents and how he was blind that inheritance mattered. He recollected his memories about the Netherfield ball; Michael’s dance with Ramsey, his dance with Haywood.

Time had passed, he wasn’t sure how long, but the sun was setting and he was sure Jack was home. The letter was tucked away in his pocket as he walked back home, taking deep breaths to calm his nerves. He walked down the lane to the home; the scent of broiled meat filled his nose. He pushed the door open and he was welcomed by Jack and Mr. Heyman, both whom thought he had gotten lost.

“Colonel Risinger and Mr. Haywood called on you while you were away. Risinger stayed for almost an hour, waiting your return and was just about to go look for you. Mr. Haywood had passed shortly after he left but he didn’t stay. Is everything alright, Gavin?” Jack had told him. Gavin nodded with a forced smile. He felt completely flattered at Colonel Risinger missing him, and thought of him more than just Colonel Risinger; he thought of the letter.

“I am perfectly well Jack.”

The next morning, Colonel Risinger and Mr. Haywood had left Rosings. Gavin could barely leave his room, his head was still full of questions and unfinished answers. Mr. Heyman went to salute their depart.

Gavin couldn’t be with Lord Farmahini without asking if he would’ve said to the proposal and how by this time, present himself as his future nephew, how would he react? Would he rejoice or would he refuse as his rank was nothing to his expectations. Lord Farmahini noticed of how limp and tired Gavin seemed. Thought he was getting ill, Gavin smiled and replied that he just had an awful night’s sleep.

“Gavin, it’s so nice to have you here. Please write to your mother that you could stay here much longer,” Lord Farmahini asked at dinner.

“It’s very flattering, sir, but, I am due home by next Saturday,”

“I’m sure your mother will understand if you stayed. I expected you to be here two month, and by your said departure you would only be here six weeks.”

“I cannot, my father wrote me to come home immediately.”

Lord Farmahini could no longer insist. “Very well. I will provide you with my best carriage when you depart.”

Not a single-day leading up to leaving Kent, had he went out for a walk down the lane. He had Mr. Heywood’s letter memorized to the point he could hear his voice and recite it to himself. It tainted his dreams as he thought about Michael and Mr. Gruchy. All the loss that Michael had suffered due to the prejudice that Mr. Haywood had conceived along with the hours spent talking with Mr. Gruchy and thinking that he was whom he believed he was.

“Gavin?” Mr. Heyman broke his thoughts.

“Yes! I apologize, my head was in the clouds.” Gavin shook out of his trance.

“Thank you for spending time here with us, especially for Jack. Our home isn’t very large, or has many rooms, and we did our very best to give you a pleasant experience. Jack has been very happy having you here, and truthfully, so have I.”

Gavin was at lost.

“It’s incredible how Jack and I have gotten along so well. We think alike, and while I do seem to make him angry sometimes because of my negligence. He’s very forgiving and I very much enjoy having him as my husband. We must’ve been designed for each other. We are very plain, perhaps even boring, and I hope it wasn’t projected onto you. My dear Mister Gavin, may I wish you the uttermost happiness in your future marriage. Whomever you choose.”

The joy in speaking about his husband brought warmth to Gavin’s sad heart. His eyes glistened as he tried not to smile too much .Jack wasn’t a man that was hard to impress. He knew what he was getting into when he agreed to marry Mr. Heyman, but, just having a home and a small farm was enough to make him happy.

His luggages was fastened to the carriage and he said a temporary farewell to his friends. He was to meet Mr. and Mrs. Luna back in Hertfordshire and finally see his brother after a long separation. Gavin spent the long ride reading the book of short stories and he cursed himself for reading too little during his stay, for as he turned the page the story his eyes laid upon on was a love story.

“Michael!” he shouted as his arrived at his destination, not noticing Mr. Luna first. Michael took his brother his arms and hugged him. “I am so happy to see you.”

Michael looked well, his studies were progressing and developed an interest in philosophy. He enjoyed his time with Arryn Luna’s father. Though, their time with the Lunas was very much cut short, as they would have to leave for Longbourne in days time.

Gavin was anxious to tell his brother about Mr. Haywood’s proposal and even more so about Mr. Ramsey.  

“Mom, Ray and Kerry will be meeting us in Hertfordshire in two days,” Michael told him as they sat in the drawing room. Gavin looked up at him and sighed. His heart pained him but he had to be patient, and not to cause him grief while they were happily with Mr. and Mrs. Luna.

The morning was cloudy they parted, and Mrs. Luna warned them that it might rain by the afternoon.

“Please, take care. Good wishes to you and your family,” Mrs. Luna smiled before placing a kiss on each of their cheeks. Mr. Luna held out his hand in his own farewell.

Michael and Gavin were greeted happily by their brothers and their mother whom hugged them as tightly as she could. They decided to have tea in town while they waited to change carriage. The clouds lingered but there was no sign of more rain. Ray and Kerry spoke about their constant trips to Meryton.

“Ray can’t stop flirting with the soldiers,” Kerry mentioned. Gavin and Michael chuckled along with their mother. Gavin’s smile turned upside down when the name ‘Mr. Gruchy’ had spilled from Ray’s mouth. He spoke of dancing with him at small gatherings with other soldiers.

“Let’s get going, shall we?” Ray invited, exhausted from talking about his adventures. They fastened their baggages and crammed all five in the carriage. Mrs. Burns made sure to sit between her two oldest sons. She took hold of Gavin’s hand, stroking his palm with her palm. It was comforting, as if she knew that his heart was filled with pins and needles.

“I’m glad to have you back home, my sons,” Mr. Burns welcomed them with open arms. He ruffled their heads before going back to his readings.

“Michael, I must tell you of Rosings,” Gavin rushed to his side.

“Yeah, you must, you’ve been on edge since Hertfordshire,” Michael furrowed his eyebrows.

Gavin pulled out the letter out of his coat and held it in his hands. Michael took a seat on his bed and Gavin sat beside him.

“Mr. Haywood proposed to me while I was there,” he began. Michael’s eyes were as wide as the moon on a clear summer’s night. Gavin continued his story and opened up the letter to rid to him a few passages. Michael couldn’t help but feel sorry for Mr. Haywood as to have his feelings crushed by such harsh words that his brother had said.

“Well, you didn’t exactly execute your refusal in the most heartfelt way possible,” Michael told him.

“I know, I feel awful for it. I hope those words were enough for him to change his regard towards me,” Gavin sighed as he let himself fall backwards onto the bed. “Do you blame me for refusing him?”

“No.”

“What about talking so highly of Mr. Gruchy?”

“Even less, I always figured that man was an ill-bred prick,” Michael consolidated with a smile on his face. “Poor Mr. Haywood! For being treated like he was. It’s really disappointing.”

“Mr. Ramsey seems like the best man of all compared to these men,” Gavin admitted as he looked up at Michael’s face. It was no doubt that Michael was still partially unhappy. His heart still longed for his first love. He hid his pain, but his hands still craved for the touch of their dances that now felt like forever ago. Gavin could only spectate and comfort when he could.

“Ray has been going to Meryton often lately,” Mrs. Burns mentioned as she looked out the window. Gavin and Michael were studying at the kitchen table. She turned to Kerry, whom was watching his brothers write notes.

“He made friends with Ms. Turney, so he’s there often to talk with her. I do not get into his business but I find it quite cruel that he’s always being invited for tea and he never wanted to bring me with him,” Kerry spat. It was agreeable among everyone that Ray was no more than a giant flirt and it was only a matter of time that it would cause more than enough damage.

It was known that Ray would be off to Brighton, and while Gavin unconsciously tried to get him settled to stay home, it was no use. Ray was of age and stubborn.

“I’m sure, Meg and Barbara Turney will take good care of him. Keep him out of trouble. After all, Ray is too poor to be considered an attraction for soldiers. He might just learn it for himself while he’s in Brighton,” Mr. Burns said about it. Gavin was content with his answer, it still didn’t settle well with him.

Gavin’s trip to Meryton alone was to see Mr. Gruchy for the last time. He was recognized from across the lane and Gavin wished all what Mr. Haywood was false and he could allow himself to be the object of his flattery and affection, Though, he kept his vanity for it deep inside and remained civil throughout their conversation.

“Not too long ago, I stayed at Rosings to see my best friend, happened that Colonel Risinger and Mr. Haywood were staying there as well. Are you acquainted with Risinger?” Gavin asked. Mr. Gruchy’s blood drained from his face yet, he retained the smile spread across his face.

“A little, how long did he stay at Rosings?”

“About three weeks.”

“Did you talk to him often?”

“Almost every day.”

“He’s unlike his cousin. He has improved very much!” Gavin told him. Gruchy couldn’t decide if he should trust him or feel entirely insulted that he wasn’t taking his side of the story. His smile was disappearing the more Gavin talking about his meetings with him. His true colours were showing through his beautiful face. The sun was setting and Gavin took his leave, satisfied with their final conversation.

Gavin watched his parents that evening to perhaps develop a better conclusion to the idea of marriage. His father was authoritative, tall, but handsome and his affections for her was based on beauty, maturity, and the kindness of her heart. He told him that before she was Mrs. Burns, she was Ashley (and still very much is) and she was a woman that he couldn’t hold down for a while. She was always chasing her youth and new discoveries. She denied his first proposal as she wanted to go to London to study literature and botany. He let her go and did not see her for a year. He was tempted to follower her to London, but his duties as a lawyer kept him busy. He couldn’t forget her, and after a year, he saw her again at a ball and he didn’t have to ask before she took his hand and they danced the entire night until her cheeks were flushes and her hair had unclipped itself from the bun. She wasn’t rich, she came from a small family and he didn’t pick the best path either. He promised that he will provide for her no matter what. Silently, while the music played and friends around them cheered and roared with laughter, he asked her to marry him, and she smiled in her step as she mouthed the words, yes.

She gave him five sons, and she swore that she will not force them to sit down and study. Instead, she filled the shelves with books from her studies and her trips into town. She raised them with freedom and the willing to not sit down and follow the rules.

“Ray hasn’t written back yet,” Kerry sulked in the drawing room.

“I’m sure he’ll write back soon dear,” Mrs. Burns comforted as she tried to continue the shawl she was knitting.

Mr. and Mrs. Luna had wrote them a letter about their northern tour, and had apologized that Mr. Luna would have to be in town until the middle of July. Gavin was disappointed in the delay, as he wanted to see the Lakes in all their beauty in June. The tour would lead them to Derbyshire, and he could not not think of Pemberley and the man who lived there. He chuckled thinking that perhaps he could slip a few gems in his pocket without him seeing him there.

The Lunas had arrived one afternoon, excited very much for their tour. They stayed the night as they would leave early the next morning. The air was crisp and cool, but the July weather would bring them warmth by midday.

“Dear, we will be passing by your birth town,” Mr. Luna commented as they had the map open across their laps. His finger was on the map with a huge smile on his face. She looked at his finger.

“Let’s not go there, please?” she asked.

“Okay, fine! Gavin, would you like to pass by a place you’ve heard so much about? Mr. Gruchy grew up there,” he looked up at him. Gavin felt distressed, he didn’t believed that he belonged there, and even upon gracing the land of Pemberley.

Mrs. Luna though was ecstatic, “The house itself I am not interested in, but Pemberley has such beautiful green space. Some of the best woods in the country!”

Gavin couldn’t say no to going now. His aunt looked so happy to visit and he didn’t want to spoil her mood. He reflected upon that it was the home of Mr. Haywood as well, and that there was a chance of seeing him on the grounds.

There was no turning back now, Gavin had to take the chance.


	6. Pemberley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin steps onto the grounds he believed he never would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> un'betad

Gavin’s heart was in a nervous uproar as they entered Pemberley Woods. They were magnificent and the park was larger than he imagined. Trees hung over them as they drove to the home. nearly half a mile away. He was intrigued by the vast green and his eyes opened wider as they drove to the front of the Pemberley House. It was a home he had never imagined before. It was large, and pristine in white marble.

He felt like he shouldn’t be in the home, after attending numerous other large houses. He was getting bored of the satin and gold detail on the walls.

“The house itself may not be as spectacular, but the grounds that the home lay on are beautiful. They have some of the richest forest in the country,” Mrs. Luna commented. Gavin did not reply, his mind had turned the tables from the building to the homeowner. It had begun to sink in that perhaps he will be meeting Mr. Haywood while he was there. Gavin wanted to ask if the homeowners would be there that day, but he rather not open the discussion to why he wanted to know and kept his mouth shut.

He had never seen grass so green, and such thick forestry before. Vines had crept up the sides and made the building their own. He stepped onto the white trail to the stairs and his heart couldn’t keep calm. His fear of having the owner home was controlling his immediate thoughts and he couldn’t find the energy to initiate conversation with his aunt and uncle about the home.

The housekeeper answered them at the door and lead them inside. The rooms were perfectly furnished, with the walls covered with paintings he was vaguely familiar with. It was elegant, but not overdone, not like the furniture at Rosings. It fit the home. It fit the owner.

And to think, I might’ve been the husband to share this place, Gavin had thought as he fingers graced the wooden table of the dining room. This home might have become mine and I would no longer be a stranger to admire it, but someone to leave a presence…

Mr. Luna had asked the housekeeper if the owner was home, and she had replied that he was due back tomorrow. Gavin relaxed, knowing that they had picked a perfect day to attend.

“Gavin! Come here, come look at this marvelous sculpture,” Mrs. Luna called and he quickly walked to her side. The suspended head looked very much like a younger Mr. Gruchy. The housekeeper told them about who he was, and then directed them to a miniature of the homeowner.

“Doesn’t it resemble him, Gavin?” Mrs. Luna asked. Gavin didn’t respond. The housekeeper asked if he knew Mr. Haywood.

“I know him a little,” Gavin replied, looking at his aunt.

“Don’t you think he’s very handsome?” the housekeeper continued.

His face coloured, “Yes, he is very handsome.” He looked at the face, wanting to stroke the white marble’s cheek but abstained.

“Very disappointing that the master isn’t here very often. It’s such a wonderful home,” Mrs. Luna said with a pouty lip.

“Once the master marries, he will be here much more often,” the housekeeper added.

Mr. and Mrs. Luna smiled at Gavin, who was entirely oblivious replied, “Well, a man like him would obviously find himself a perfect wife.”

Mr. Haywood had many rooms dedicated to the arts his family had made over the years. Lindsay, or Miss Haywood, was in many portraits. She was indeed a beautiful woman. Despite all the beautiful paintings and sculptures in the rooms, he found himself always going back to the ones of Mr. Haywood. Some were young, done merely a few years ago, and some were him as a child. His eyes couldn’t leave how his hair was curlier as a younger man, and now it was more tamed, and shorter. The paintings showcased a vibrant blue for his eyes that seemed to pierce through his heart with every glance.

Gavin seemed to have softened to the idea of wanting to see the original more than the stoic statues in the gallery. The housekeeper spoke greatly of him and who knew him better than someone he grew up with.

Once they had seen the house in its entirety, the housekeeper had led them to the garden. Gavin was ready to walk the green pastures and the air felt good compared to being inside. He did not hear the voice of his aunt and uncle anymore and he had stopped to turn around. The master of the house was there to greet them.

They were merely twenty yards from each other. Their eyes met and Gavin could feel a rush of heat into his cheeks. They were both still in place, and Mr. Haywood was the first to make the first step towards him, but not in the best composure that Gavin had seen.

The portraits of Mr. Haywood were nothing like the man in the flesh and Gavin could barely look at him in the eye as he asked about his brothers, his parents, how long had he had been at Pemberley. His manner had changed since Gavin had last spoke to him though every sentence that spills from his mouth increased his embarrassment. Mr. Haywood had never thought that Gavin would be in the area. His sentences were a mess, and his unsteady accent did not help. He spoke quickly, unable to keep up with his own thoughts.

At length, his words began to fail him, and he couldn’t compose a sentence. They stood in silence for a little too long before Mr. Haywood tipped his hat and walked away. Gavin could only watch him walk away as the others came up to him to ask how they admired Mr. Haywood in his greeting to him. Gavin couldn’t hear them. He was lost in his thoughts. He shouldn’t have came.

“You should introduce us, Gavin,” Mrs. Luna awoke him from his thoughts. At first, Gavin didn’t want to. He would not be used to make such connections, but they were his relatives. Mr. Haywood was very pleased to meet them, contrary to what Gavin believed would happen. He conversed well and eventually invited Mr. Luna for fishing.

Gavin was at a lost for his changed manner. He repeated to himself: “He cannot have changed for me! For my sake? His manners cannot have softened for me… It is impossible that he still loves me.”

They had been walking for quite some time. Gavin was left to walk with Mr. Haywood, while his aunt and uncle held hands to get back to the carriage.

“Your housekeeper informed me that you wouldn’t be back until tomorrow, and indeed, before we left Bakewell, we were sure that you wouldn’t be in the country,” Gavin informed him.

“That is true, I had some business to attend with my steward and came a few hours earlier than the rest of my party.” he continued. “They will be arriving in the morning, Mr. Ramsey and Miss Ramsey.”

It had been a while since the name of Mr. Ramsey had been exchanged between the two.

“There is also someone else in the party that would be delighted to meet you. Would you allow me to introduce my sister to your acquaintance during your stay at Lambton?” he asked. Gavin was surprised that Miss Haywood would ever want to be acquainted with him. What words did Mr. Haywood tell his sister to have such a likeness towards him?

They walked in silence. Gavin felt extremely flattered by the sentiment of meeting Miss Haywood. Mr. and Mrs. Luna were very much behind them when they got to the carriage. Gavin had nothing to say, as much as he wanted to talk to him. Time was ticking as the two got closer, and by the time Gavin managed to construct sentences, they had already caught up with them.

“I must go,” Gavin said hurriedly.

“Understandable, my sister is going to be very happy to see you,” Mr. Haywood told him as Mr. Luna helped his wife onto the carriage and called on Gavin to tell them they’ll need to be home by dinner and to excuse themselves to Mr. Haywood.

“Good evening, sir,” Gavin smiled before going up onto the carriage, his legs tired from the walk. He felt a hand in his to help him up and he turned to see Mr. Haywood. They did not let go until he sat down.  Mr. Haywood gave a nod before walking back to the house. Gavin could not go of the feeling. It had been changed since their first dance and the touch lingered on his fingers.

While his aunt and uncle spoke about the scenery, he was lost in his thoughts about Mr. Haywood’s actions that day. How much he had changed, and the inquiry to meet his sister.

Gavin sat nervously at the window, waiting for his visitors to arrive at his current home. He had gotten up early that morning, and he had not stopped playing with the tips of his white gloves. She had seen the open carriage from up the lane and he had jumped out of his seat, much to the shock of his relatives. He couldn’t compose himself and he mumbled words to himself as he walked up and down the room.

“Go greet them, Gavin!” Mrs. Luna pushed him towards the door. He took a deep breath and opened it with a smile on his face. Mr. Haywood was first to greet him. Miss Haywood was just as awkward as he was. She was tall, with long red hair, presumed to be just as proud as her brother, but Gavin concluded she was just shy. She wasn’t as handsome as Mr. Haywood, but her cheeks and her smile were elegant and caring on their own.

“Mr. Burns, Ramsey will be here soon,” Haywood mentioned. Gavin hadn’t seen the man in ages and when he had entered the room to join the rest of them. Gavin wanted to be angry at him, for what he had done to his brother, but he couldn’t. Mr. Ramsey was planned to marry Miss Haywood. She was much more handsome than Michael, but, the words slipped out of Mr. Ramsey’s mouth in the silence of mid-conversation.

“I haven’t seen him in more than eight month, since that day in November when we danced at Netherfield,” he quietly responded. Mr. Ramsey had asked Gavin if all his brothers were still at Longbourn.

“At the moment, yes, they are.”

The look on Ramsey’s face softened. Gavin would turn to peak at glance at Mr. Haywood, who no longer spoke with a hauteur. He was more open to conversations. He looked more relaxed in his manner of speaking.

The visitors stayed for no more than half an hour before they had to part. Mr Haywood had risen from his chair to ask Mr. and Mrs. Luna, and Mr. Burns if they would like to dine with them at Pemberley that evening. Mrs. Luna agreed upon request.

“I’m very glad to have met you again Mr. Burns,” Mr. Ramsey told him before his departure. “I’m also glad to hear that your brothers are doing well.”

The evening might have been worse than the day before in concern to the thoughts in Gavin’s head. He, whom he persuaded, had become his biggest enemy, and yet through the miles and month of torturous pain to his heart, Mr. Haywood still loved him. There could not be another reason to why his manner had changed. Even so, his own feelings have changed for the man and he began to regret any hateful prejudice he had against him.

“Mr. Burns,” he heard Miss Haywood say. He snapped out of his daydreaming. Everyone in the room was looking at him and felt extremely embarrassed.

“I apologize greatly Miss Haywood.”

“Would you like to sit at the piano with me?” she asked as she held out her hand. Gavin got up from his chair and followed her. He caught Mr. Haywood smiling as his sister took the chair and Gavin sat next to her.

“I do not know how to play very well,” Gavin whispered. She giggled.

“Follow me then,” she whispered back and she started to begin her melody and Gavin tried to keep up with her, despite not playing as well as she could. He could feel eyes on his back but Lindsay would pause for a moment to let him play a few notes before continuing. “You’re not as bad as you think you are.”

She was so kind, and curious. When they were done their duet, she was ready to show him her favourite books and talk about how her brother had promised to get her a kitten for her next birthday. Mr. Haywood sat with other guests, glancing over to his sister time to time. Gavin would look up as well, catching his eyes and then turning away.

Gavin felt gratitude towards him. Grateful that he still loved him, despite all the misery he must’ve caused him in these months. Gratitude for loving him enough that he was willing to forgive him, even after rejecting him, even after all the false accusations he had thrown in his face.

The new found feelings he was feeling towards him after such occurrences made Gavin want to make amends, to start over with Mr. Haywood. He had perhaps proved himself to be worthwhile.

“Gavin!” Griffon called after him. He had not seen her for such a long time that she wrapped her arms around him and asked him many questions about his family and his recent travels. She caused a stir in the room, and they expected Miss Haywood to interrupt but she only smiled and giggled at the two getting along so well. “Mr. Haywood isn’t here?”

“I don’t know, I don’t seem him among everyone else.” Gavin responded.

“That is unfortunate, let’s ask Lindsay,” Griffon pouted before she walked on over to her and sat next to her. Miss Haywood seemed to be used to Griffon’s outgoing nature and her posture softened and she admitted she never had a clue where her brother was sometimes.

Once Mr. Haywood did enter the room, he was overwhelmed with Griffon’s presence. She saw him looking over constantly at his sister and her new acquaintance. A smile upon her face and her hair laced with feathers, Haywood stood tall but welcoming.

“Gavin’s looking bronze, isn’t he?” she asked as they both gazed upon the room, paying attention to the two who had very much to say to each other.

“Well, he has been traveling a lot this summer,” he replied.

“I remember you finding him pretty at one point.”

“Yes, but that was when I only first met him; for it’s been many months since I’ve considered him one of the most handsomest men of my acquaintance,” he admitted, with a flush of colour upon his cheeks. Griffon had heard enough to her heart’s content and bowed before taking her leave.  

Upon Gavin’s return to Lambton, he had realized that Michael had not sent a letter in the time he was there. The next morning the mail was delivered in a packet of three. Michael had miswrote the address. The first letter was light-hearted with all the parties he had attended but the second letter was marked a day later than the first, and his writing had been more urgent.

‘Gavin, much in contrary to the first letter, I have very bad news to tell you. That evening as many of us were heading to bed, Colonel Risinger had sent us an express that Ray had gone off with one of his officers. That officer would be Gruchy, can you imagine? Kerry wasn’t surprised about the affair. I am willing to stay the slightest more optimistic on my side, for I believe Ray is intelligent, but at this instance, I don’t have a clue! Our father has nothing to give him, and mother is grieving. I know we spoke awfully about him, but we shouldn’t let him know. They left Saturday night, and only have thought missing since yesterday morning. Colonel Risinger will be with us soon. I’m sorry for my terrible handwriting.’

Gavin threw it aside and opened up the next one. Ripping through the envelope without thinking about the wax seal.

‘By the time you have received this letter, it has been too late. Gruchy and Ray have probably married by now. Though, they haven’t escaped to Scotland and are still in the country. Colonel Risinger is now with us and despite trying to find light in the situation, nothing can persuade him. They have be found on a road to London and are trying to get them back here to speak, but not current luck. I haven’t seen mother this distressed in my life. Kerry feels guilty for not talking about the relationship sooner before this mess. I would like you to come home as soon as possible, brother of mine. Father is heading into London tomorrow with Colonel R. and I am begging you to advise aunt and uncle of the situation, for Colonel R. needs to be back in Brighton as soon as he reaches London.”

“Uncle!” Gavin shouted as he brought the letter down the steps and to his relatives but they were no where to be found. At that moment, Mr. Haywood had come into the home by a servant. He was taken aback to Gavin’s pale face and anxiety. “I’m sorry, Haywood, but I must find Mr. and Mrs. Luna. I have received terrible news from Longbourn and we must depart!”

“Whoa, please, young sir, I will not stop you but please send a servant! You look to ill to be in frantic search,” he cried. He couldn’t speak and Mr. Haywood had asked the servant to find the master and mistress as soon as possible. Gavin pulled a chair from the table and sat down. His head barely able to arrange the situation. Mr. Haywood was at a loss on what to do.

“Would you like me to get you a glass of wine? A maid to help you? A cup of tea?” he offered. Gavin shook his head as he held his face in his hands. It took many deep breaths before Gavin composed himself.

“Ray had gone to elope with Mr. Gruchy. I have no idea what he would want with him. He has no money, no connections, we have nothing. He is lost and it’s all my fault.” Gavin whimpered as he tried to tell the rest of the story with the occasional hiccup of anxiety. He paced the room as he spoke. Gavin felt small; a loss of power. The wealth of his family was coming forward and crashing with the humiliation that Ray had brought onto them. “Please excuse my absence to your sister. I won’t be able to see her tonight but please just say it’s because of something urgent and spare the details.”

“It’s alright, I’ll do whatever I could if you like,” he replied before exiting. Gavin believed it would be the last time they would ever see each other again due to such scandal. Their acquaintance had always been a mess from start to then, and perhaps to rejoice in its terminance.

  
Mr. and Mrs. Luna entered as quick as they could on the news of their ill nephew. Gavin explained them the letters. Mrs. Luna had read them aloud to her husband. Mr. Luna confided he would do anything to help. They were quick to get ready and order a carriage. Mrs. Luna took care of the letters to send to their friends of their sudden departure; making up excuses. It was midday when they all settled and left for Longbourn.


End file.
